When we were wallflowers

3

UGH! I can not find it anywhere!

"DAD!" I called. I turned the corner of my room and saw my dad walking down the stairs with his yarn basket. "What are you doing?" I asked, confused. "Hmm? Oh! I wanted to knit a blanket, so I wanted to start. What did you need, kiddo?" He asked. "Oh, well, I know this is last minute, but I really need something," I laughed. I did not have any paint for my project that was due Friday. I thought I had some, but I guess not. "I am assuming you want to go to the store?" He asked, annoyed.

He started to walk down the steps, and I followed behind him. "Please! I can run in and run out!" I begged. My dad groaned and placed the basket on the sofa. "Alfred, you should have told me earlier; it is too late!" He said. I looked over to Matthew, who was watching TV on the sofa. "Matthew! tell him it is important!" I groaned.

"Eh? keep me out of this!"

"What? Some brother you are!"

I looked back at our dad, and he looked annoyed. "Hmm? what is going on?" Pappa came out of the kitchen, and he had an apron on. "I need paint for a project!" I begged. I began to do puppy eyes, and Papa laughed. "I can just take him; I need some more folders anyway," Papa smiled. My dad crossed his arms and looked at him. "No, you are cooking dinner," Dad spoke.

"I can go! I know how to drive!"

"No! You do not have a license yet!"

"Ah! Sorry, Alfred, I tried,"

I rolled my eyes and looked at my dad. "Please! I won't ask for anything ever again!" I laughed. My dad rolled his eyes and fixed his shirt. "Fine! Let's go quickly before It gets too late," He spoke. "YESSSS!" I cheered. I quickly went to put my shoes on near the door. "Okay, I will be right back. Do you need anything?" Dad asked Papa. My Papa kissed his cheek, and my dad held his hand. "No, I will get the folders tomorrow; just be safe," Papa smiled.

My dad began to put his shoes on and grabbed the keys. "I will be, do not worry. I will try and be fast," He smiled. "I love you!" Papa smiled. "Yeah, Yeah! I love you too! Alfred, let's hurry," Dad spoke.

~

The smell around me and the sounds of cracking. My eyes opened slowly, and I began to freak out. I felt my breathing speed up, and I looked around. I was upside down and began pulling on my seat belt. "Alfred, please calm down," I heard my dad speak. I looked at him, and he had blood running down his neck. "Dad, I can't breath," I uttered. I think I was hyperventilating. "please...deep...breaths," He spoke slowly. He grabbed onto my hand, but I was freaking out. "Dad, I am scared," I cried.

My dad turned his face to me, and my eyes widened. Part of his face had glass sticking out of it, and I began to freak out more. He reached his hand to me and grabbed it tightly. I was trying to catch my breath, but I could not. It was like the air was being sucked up somehow. "Alfred, I love you...you need to calm down," He spoke.

My vision was starting to get blurry, and I could no longer feel my legs and arms. "Dad, I can't feel my legs," I cried. "Alfred, please, you are in shock; take deep breaths," He tried to tell me. Blood was running down my face. It was coming from my torso. I began to breathe faster and faster, and I lost my vision.

"Dad, I do not know what to do," I cried. My hands began to shake, and I-

~

I felt a jolt go through my body, and I sat straight.

"Alfred, are you okay?" Matthew grabbed me and looked at me, worried. I felt sweat falling down my face and looked over to our Papa, asleep. I held onto my torso and felt my heart beating faster. "I am," I whispered. I sat back in my seat, and Matthew looked at me. "It's okay to talk about it, you know," He spoke.

"Talk about what?" I asked, looking away slightly. "Please don't do that," He started. I looked at him, confused, and he placed his hand on mine. "Pretend that everything is fine when it is not. That is what Papa does, and it bothers you, so do not do it to me," He spoke. My face fell, and I looked at him sadly.

"There is nothing we can do; I feel like it's my fault," I whispered. Matthew smiled at me and shook his head. "Don't ever say that; it could have happened to anyone. You and dad just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Accidents happen; it is not the first time you have asked to go out late. No one blames you, so do not ever feel that way...it is called survivors guilt. It would break his heart knowing you blame yourself," Matthew started.

He pointed to Papa, and I nodded. I knew I had survivor's guilt, and I knew Papa would be upset if I felt this way. I could not help it.

Matthew put an arm around me and brought me closer. "Don't sweat it; I'm here, always," he smiled. He forced me to put my head on his shoulder and began to caress my hair. It felt nice, and I began to close my eyes. "Everything will be just fine! I am the big brother, after all!" He laughed.

"Eh? Where did you get that from?" I asked, confused. "Dad said that whoever learned the alphabet first is the big brother!" He laughed. "What? Wasn't I born first?" I asked, confused. "Only by a minute, I can challenge you to take the role as big brother," he smiled.

"Eh? Who decided that?" I laughed. "Me! And I learned to read first, so I'm the older brother," he laughed. I laughed at what he said and shrugged. "Sure, then..."