When we were wallflowers

2

"Okay, do you all have everything? Your passports and tickets?" Papa asked. He doubled checked everything like a crazy person. Usually, our dad would be in charge of stuff like this, so I understand why papa was so nervous. "Hey, maybe you will finally get a girlfriend when we are there!" Matthew smiled. "Maybe when we get to the states, I can finally sell you off to a family who wants you," I smiled back.

"What are you wearing anyway? Are you trying to get robbed?" I laughed. I pointed to his sweater vest, and he smacked my hand away. "Don't hate on my SWAG!"

I began to laugh at what he said and shook my head. "I can not believe you just said that," I laughed. "I was learning American slang words," he laughed. "Boys, stop sassing each other," our papa spoke. He was looking at the airport map and the ticket. "Okay, we go this way! See! Good thing I came early! Your dad taught me that trick!" Papa smiled, determined.

We all began to walk beside each other, and I looked at the time. "Do you know when our things will get there?" Matthew asked. "I think they said tomorrow, which is not too bad," papa smiled. "That's good!" Matthew spoke.

I looked to our papa, who was determined to ensure we were on schedule. Although he didn't cry, he went through a strange thing after the funeral. Papa would forget that our dad wasn't around and talk or call him. It was hard to watch most days. "Make sure you both sleep on the plane; you will have jet lag; I have some sleep medicine if you want some," papa smiled.

I doubt he would ever cry in front of us at this point. However, I can tell that he has many thoughts on his mind. It felt like all of this was my fault. I mean this seriously; this was the most honesty I could ever offer anyone.

The night my dad died, I asked if he could take me to the store to get some supplies. It could have waited till the morning, but I lied and said I needed them that night. A car hit us... my dad died while the ambulance was on the way, and I was taken to the hospital, where I was in a coma for nearly a month; I woke up to the news.

It was my fault; they didn't need to tell me to know this. I ruined our family, and I'll never forgive myself for that.

~
When we boarded the flight, I sat between my papa and Matthew. Matthew had the window seat, and papa had the aisle. "You both excited?" Papa smiled. "Yeah, it will be fun," I smiled. Matthew nodded and continued to look out the window. Matthew and I did not want to leave, but I think it was more for my papa to move on.

Papa smiled at me and turned to look at his phone. He had a picture of our dad on his phone still and would look at it sometimes. "That reminds me!" Matthew spoke. He began to reach under the seat in front of him to shuffle through his bag. He quickly cleared the pouch pocket before me and took something out.

"It wouldn't be official if dad wasn't here to see!" Matthew smiled. He positioned the picture frame in front of us, and my eyes widened. I looked over to papa quickly, but he didn't seem upset. He just smiled at it and nodded. "Of course! If he were here, he would probably complain about why the flight has not taken off," papa laughed.

"Oh! He would try and talk to the pilot to see what's taking so long," Matthew laughed. I began to laugh with them, and I smiled. "He would have gotten upset with papa because he would not do anything but would not let him do anything in the first place," I laughed. Papa laughed and nodded. "Arthur...I mean, your dad stressed out about everything, even when he did not have to do anything," Papa laughed. We all smiled and looked at the picture frame. It was the last picture we ever took of him.

He was smiling and had his usual clothes on. "I remember that day, your dad was trying to find something to wear, but he had the same thing. Nothing but sweater vests or collared shirts; he wanted to go shopping for new clothes," Papa laughed. "Oh god, I could only imagine the type of "fashion" he would have picked out," Matthew laughed.

I grabbed the picture frame and smiled at it. I wish he were somehow here again. Sometimes it seemed as If I just dreamed, somehow, you would be here again. "He is going to love our new home; I could already tell how he would want to decorate it," Papa smiled. He grabbed my hand gently, and I looked to Matthew, who smiled. "Yeah! We will decorate precisely how he would have wanted it! Starting with that painting, he always liked," Matthew laughed nervously.

It was a weird painting of a medieval cat that he liked a lot. It was weird, but papa let him hang it in the bathroom. I never liked the way it hung above the toilet. It made me feel like the cat was watching me use the toilet.

"As long as it is not above the toilet anymore, I am good," I laughed. I placed the picture back down, and Matthew took out his neck pillow. "I am going to sleep, Alfred please do not bother me every five minutes," He spoke. I laughed at what he said and shrugged. "I will try not to," I laughed. "Alfred, you should sleep too; I do not want you complaining about being tired later," Papa spoke. "Really?" I asked. "Yes! Go to sleep," papa told. I pouted at what he said and began to get my neck pillow out. I swear! I am not even tired.