Gym. It's always been my most hated subject. If you can even call it that. See, the thing about me is that my body is weird. I can't sweat. My body does not produce sweat glands. So that means I can't get hot. Well maybe a little but not a lot. (Actually have no clue) I can't let that happen or else bad things happen. Like heat strokes, heat cramps, heat exhaustion.
Yep never had a heat stroke and I never really plan on that happening. See since sweating is a way for your body to cool down. Well my body doesn't have that ability. So I can't be in hot weather which is good I mean we live in Canada so it's all good.
But gym. Oh god gym.
The girls there are fucking horrid. They have a tendency of calling me princess in a mocking way. And throwing bottles of water at me. Sometimes they throw them hard and sometimes they don't. But when they throw them hard I throw them right back as hard as I could. Which might be why they stopped throwing them.
Now they just dump odd liquids on me. They're never really hot they're always extremely cold. I guess it's not bad I mean it's gym we have showers in here I mean don't be a bunch of stupid asses.
It sucks that first period is gym too. I sigh walking into school with a water bottle in my hand. I keep my head held high and strut into there. Then I see them. It's those stupid bitches from my gym class. I groan and walk the other way and go into the bathroom.
Just to be forward I'm not hiding, I'd just rather not deal with their bullshit today. Or any day, but I know that I'll still have to deal with them in gym class. I walk out and go to my locker shoving all my water bottles and books in there. I sigh in relief my book bag being quite literally two pounds lighter.
Then the bell rings and I groan and walk to my gym class. See the thing about not being able to sweat it kind of makes you a freak. And when you're a freak no one really wants to be your friend. So I end up walking alone to my gym class. I sigh almost sadly then smile quickly. I can't show people that it gets to me at times. My mom said to smile. Every time it feels hurtful, just smile. Smile through the sadness,loneliness,and pain.
Just smile because when you're smiling no one can tell that it all gets to you, so in reality you just always look happy and strong as hell. It rarely gets to me but at times like this when the hallways are empty, and I'm walking alone it kind of begins to get to you, just in the slightest.
So I usually ignore the feelings and smile. Even though moms gone now. Smile. Even though my dads spiraling out of control. Smile. Even though I have no one to talk to. Smile. Even though I haven't spoken to another human without it being to tell them to fuck off. Smile. Even though my dad hasn't told me he loved me in years. Smile. Even though I haven't hugged another human for three years. Smile. Even though I can barely keep this smile up. Fucking smile. Big.
And when they don't smile back? Laugh.
All I can do is smile.
Once I reach my gym class the coach isn't shocked that I'm late she just nods at me. I smile at her. As I'm walking I hear whispers about a new kid. Apparently he's "hotter than the bottom of my laptop."
I smile and then walk over to the bleachers and sit in a corner. I pull my pen out my back pocket of my jeans and begin writing quotes on my arm. By all the people that have helped me stay strong all these years. Once most of my arm is taken up by quotes and the occasional drawing I sigh the coach announcing we're running a mile.
I nod knowing I'll only have to do at most two laps. And when I have to stop I'll have them talk about me and complain about me and the coach will give me that same ashamed and disappointed mixed look. But I still smile.
