(a/n: *IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ IT ALL*
Okay so first off I would like to apologize for taking so long to update, but honestly I don't feel I have to. Because I take a long time to update for I reason. I update when I want to and people rushing me makes me feel bad and obligated to update and I rush and last minute put together a chapter and update. And in that instance I don't give you guys my 100%. Like my last update on this book, looking over it I know I could have written better but I wanted to update because I don't want to loose readers but with all the pressure that's put on me to update I think of a quick idea and type it all out and then I publish it. And now looking back I know that once I'm done with all my books they'll have to go under major editing and reconstruction because in a lot of my chapters I did not give my 100%. Because in a lot of my books I have endless spelling errors and I don't stick to my original plot line and ideas. So if anything I should be apologizing for rushing to put together a crappy chapter and actually publishing it out. So from now on I'll be updating on my own account and I ask of you guys to please if you're going to keep pushing me to update and telling me then please stop reading or expect updates whenever I decide to. But anyways, this update was all my own decision and I took my time to actually think about what I was going to put down and I would really appreciate it if you all voted or commented your thoughts pls
to all the people who actually read it, thank you
to all the people that actually voted, thank you
to all the people that actually commented, thank you
to all the people that are still reading, I love you :)
enjoy [or don't.?])
Carter
I wake up to my alarm clock. Most likely my eyes are red and puffy, and very visible bags under my eyes. My hair is greasy. Overall, I'm a mess. A sad dysfunctional, non sweat gland producing, heart broken, annoyed, tired, mess.
So you'd imagine my reluctance whenever I realized I'd have to be going to school. And joining the track team. And having to face everyone in school. Today should be highly interesting. So I took a shower brushed my teeth, blow dried my hair, straightened it, put it in a ponytail, put on light makeup, (mascara, concealer, foundation, ect.) and then put together a nice simple outfit.
And then I went down stairs, got my coffee, got my keys, grabbed my backpack, and all the paperwork I need to join the track team, and then finally I was able to leave the house. I got in my car, started it up, then drove to school.
After awhile I realized I didn't have my phone with me and I deeply regretted it because then I didn't have music so that when I walk I couldn't block out what everyone would be saying. I'm not ready for it all.
I'm positive I'll be getting hell for it all. And finally I reach the school. Even though I was going 20 mph the whole time and even though I stopped at about three gas stations, I still got there early.
So I waited. After what felt like three hours but in reality was most likely just three minutes I got out of my car because I started feeling claustrophobic. And whenever I step out I notice of course I'm still highly early to school. Guess I should have attempted to oversleep just in the slightest.
But whenever I get out of my car I notice that there's people in the parking lot. I sigh and keep walking wanting more than anything in that moment to be able to go on my phone and plug my headphones into my ears and turn the volume up so loud I wouldn't even be able to hear my own thoughts much less hear everyone else's.
I keep walking even though slowly everyone is noticing me. And everyone has something to say about me.
I sigh and keep walking. Soon enough I reach the school doors, and I enter. Apparently everyone is too "afraid" to tell me anything to my face. Apparently I nearly murdered somebody.
Yeah, right.
So I keep walking until I find a cafeteria table, and I just sit there. Unable to be on my phone. Feeling like a disappointment because I can't manage a smile. The one thing my mum told me to do and I can't even do that.
Pathetic.
And soon enough there's another person sitting in my table and I look up and I notice that it's Kai. I sigh in relief and give him a quick hug.
He starts the conversation first.
"So, how's it going?"
"Well, the whole school is talking about me. Oh and did I mention I forgot my phone at home? So I can't even block them out with music. Today is just the best!" I say with fake enthusiasm.
Kai chuckles lightly and bumps his shoulders with mine, "Oh, come on. It could be worse you know."
"Of course I know." I grumbled. And after a couple minutes of peaceful silence I speak quietly.
"I'm joining the track team."
He chuckled, "I'm sorry, it's a little loud in here. For a minute I thought you said you'd be joining the track team. But anyways, what did you say?"
This time I spoke louder with more confidence, "I'm joining the track team."
"What?" He asked again still seeming to think that I wasn't saying what I actually was saying.
"I'm joining the track team!" I shouted out this time growing frustrated.
By this time I realized I shouted too loud and the whole cafeteria heard. I look around and notice everyone is shocked and a few people are snickering. I shake my head and go to my locker getting ready to leave my water bottles in there and keep two in my backpack.
As I'm walking I hear footsteps after me and I know it's Kai following me to my locker. But I just don't want to talk about anything with him. And when I reach my locker I put in my combination and start unloading water bottles. Noticing I still have a few from before I got suspended. I notice Kai is also extremely pissed off.
"Carter what the fuck do you-"
"Kai, I really don't want to talk about it."
"Well we're going to talk about it wether you like it or not bec-"
"Kai this is not a discussion i'm joining the track team wether you like it or not. I wasn't asking for your permission or opinion whenever I told you. I was simply just telling you."
"Well you're not going to join the track team. You know why? Because you don't get to do that to me. You don't get to do this to me-" he grabs my hand and puts it against his heart. I notice that it's beating very fast. "you do not get to scare me like that. Now I'm worrying about you and-"
"But Kai, did I ever ask you to worry about me?"
"No, but the minute we agreed friends was the minute you allowed me to be worried about you. And I understand you're hurt and you're scared because Ash is in a coma and he may never wake up but I don't need two people buried six feet under!" He says finally yelling at me.
I take a deep breath and let all my anger soak in and drip out through my voice, "I get that you're worried but you do not ever get to tell me how I feel. Because you have no fucking clue how I feel. And you never get to use Ash being in a coma against me."
And with that I slam my locker door shut and make my way to the gymnasium more determined than ever before to get on that track team.
No one tells me what I can or can't do. Not even some medical condition.
