Carter
I liked whenever Kai kissed me. It was quick and his lips were soft and all. But I didn't feel any tingles or sparks or anything of the sorts.
The whole car ride home Ash was gripping the steering wheel so tightly I was afraid he would pop the damn thing right off. "You okay there?" I ask with a light laugh.
"Just great." He mutters.
The whole car ride I would try to do anything to kill the tense awkward silence, but most times he would either ignore me completely, or reply in short clipped answers. I have no idea why it hurt, but it did.
I feel like I did something wrong, like maybe I hurt him, and I feel so guilty now. As I think back to what I did today or over the past couple weeks I can't tell what would be counted as bad, or wrong.
I sigh after another long period of awkward silence, "Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?" I ask. After a couple more minutes of awkward tense silence.
"Please?" I ask somewhat desperately.
A minute later he stops and grips the steering wheel harder, "We're here."
I sigh, feeling the weight in my chest making it hard to keep breathing, and moving. I've felt this weight before. It was whenever I lost someone very important. My mum. I feel tears gather in my eyes, "I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong." I mumble unbuckling my seatbelt, and opening the door.
I feel one tear slowly rolling down my cheek, "Goodbye.." I wish it didn't have to be a goodbye. But I know that I did something wrong, and I must have hurt him in some way, but he has to understand that those were never my intentions.
And I am deeply sorry for that. But as of now he isn't talking to me, he won't even answer my questions. And I may be stubborn, but I can tell when I'm not wanted. It's okay though. I forgive him, I just don't forgive myself for whatever I've done wrong. I wish I didn't have to loose him.
Ash
When she said goodbye and began slowly walking up her driveway I almost broke. Because I saw her single teardrop fall. I saw her shaking. But I backed out of her driveway and started speeding down the street. I wasn't driving home. I just can't seem to see another way than avoiding her. Or ignoring her.
I was just driving. I wanted so badly to turn back and tell her how I feel, but she would not have even loved me back, with that thought I press on the gas harder. I love her. And of course she did nothing wrong, I just let my feelings get in the way, because I know I can't be her friend. I know that I would push her too far. I'll break her heart.
But I guess it's a little too late for that considering I may have just done the very selfish insensitive deed just now. Yet I continue speeding the opposite direction of her house until I see a cow in the road and swerve, my thoughts being interrupted.
To Be Continued...
