I spent my days visiting Ash and watching movies and binge eating with Kai. Having movie nights at Ash's house. Stealing his clothes too.
I have become good friends with Jasper, Cadence, and Daisi.
Cadence is now (hopefully) my best friend. She already knows scraps of my life so I figured I might as well tell her the background story.
She was very supportive and has given herself the position as my bodyguard, even if I have told her countless times before that I can handle myself and that I do not need a bodyguard.
Do you think she listened? No. No she didn't.
Today I am supposed to be going back to school. But I don't. Instead I oversleep and then go visit Ash. I need to tell him something and pray he hears it.
When I reach the hospital I go to his room immediately and I sit down and hold his hand. After a couple of minutes I clear my throat and shakily begin, "I just wanted you to know that I...I will be joining the track team after today. And..and if you don't like it and if you worry for my safety please wake up and tell me this. Please...just..even a hand squeeze." And you know what I got?
Nothing.
Absolutely fucking nothing.
I feel my tears fall and my seemingly infinite hope, well...my hope has reached its end. He is as good as gone. There's no point in hovering over a body that might as well be dead.
Sure, he breathes.
But live? That he does not.
And it is all my fault. I did this to myself practically. I have put his family members and myself through great sufferings and heart aches. I am a disgrace.
I wipe my eyes and shake my head walking away. Tomorrow I will find a way to make myself a part of the track team no matter what.
I will stay true to my word.
Even if it kills me.
And that it just might do.
a/n: dedicated to Panda_Wanda
