𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦

𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘈 𝘞𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 2 𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴?

Narrators POV:

It was currently 3:18 a.m. in a weird ass place called Ohio. While other Ohians were fighting their inner demons, (Questioning their sexuality) Simon was busy doing other things. Nobody would have guessed that this weird little band freak was capable of murder, but they would soon learn otherwise.

"Stop crying, you overplayed tuba," Simon yelled while carrying the soon to be dead body of Erwin. "Why are you doing this? UwU," Erwin asked in an omega, fragile tone. "I'm sorry it had to be this way, snollygoster," Simon said in fake sympathy. He started getting closer to the cliff.

"Simon, UwU, please, OwO, I'll do anything. TwT Just please don't kill me," Omega kitten Erwin begged. Simon finally got to the edge of the cliff after what felt like an eternity since he has midgety, short, thin, weak, little, shrimpy, miniature, microscopic, wee (Describing blonde men's dicks tbh) legs. Simon pulls Omega kitten Erwin close to him.

"There can only be one omega and that's my brother." Right as Simon said that, he pushed Erwin off the cliff. Erwin couldn't do anything to save himself and accepted his fate. Simon watched him fall down and checked to make sure no one saw.

"Now I can go play some Among us!" He said giggling and skipping away like a little lad.  

Alvin's POV:

It was 4:30 a.m, I wanted to take a shower cause I smelled like little midget man foreskin. I washed my hair and got out of the shower not even bothering to wash my ass. Levi said I need to be more like an alpha and apparently, alpha's don't wash their ass. I looked in the mirror and the first thing I saw was the baby bump.

"Bruv, you need to cut back on the food a little." I looked up and saw a gorgeous (I SPELLED IT RIGHT ON MY FIRST TRY) man with blue hair and probably pronouns. "Do I know you," I asked a little snarkily. Levi said if you reply in a snarky tone, omegas will instantly lower their guards and won't try to make you mad.

"I'm Kaeya, Cavalry Captain," he introduces himself with a polite smile that's clearly fake. "I'm Alvin," I grumble. "I know, you're all the people have to gossip about. Something about you and Captain Levi," he says acting like he doesn't know what happened. "That's just a rumor. I hate that pathetic excuse of an alpha. He should take some notes from me," I say with confidence.

"Then, who got you pregnant?" Shit, if he knows, does that mean everyone else knows? "Nightwing did,," I whisper. "Can you repeat that?" "NIGHTWING DID!!!" I yell out of frustration. Why can't these silly little omegas leave me alone? 

"Nightwing hasn't been here for weeks. You need a better cover story, but I'll keep it a secret for now," he said then disappearing. Istg these omegas are way too sneaky. I get dressed and try to hide the baby bump as best as I can.

"Alvin, we have to go training," Smelvin says. I look over and see his partner, Lightning Mcqueen. "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you two be going on your honeymoon," I ask. "We decided to have our honeymoon here after we heard The Rock was here training," Mcqueen says.

"Anyways, how's Doritos doing after her honeymoon," I question. "She had 3 mental breakdowns." "She's so real for that."

On the other side of the world:

"Achoo!" "I think someones talking about you," Deepthroat tells her friend, Doritos. "That's crazy, anyways, I just don't think J*cks is the one for you. He literally has the personality of my asshole," Doritos warns her friend.

"You have a very lovely asshole," Deepthroat compliments her hot bsf. "So I've been told."

Back to the main story:

Levi's POV:

I sent out a search party for my Omega kitten husband hours ago and nobody has reported back yet. I feel awful. How could I cheat on my own husband? I put the wedding photo down and drink my tea. (dead ass would drink that nasty ass tea so he would lemme hit) I look out my window and see a disco ball and a bunch of the cadets dancing.

"What the fuck?" I start walking towards the music. Pushing people aside so I can see what's going on. Looking closely, I see Smelvin and The Rock playing Just Dance. I listen to the song they're dancing to and it sounds familiar. Is that... Cbat? That was Erwin's favorite song.

"What the hell is going on here," I mumble. "Dwayne challenged Smelvin to a dance battle after he insulted one of his friends," Edward Cullen explains, pointing to a random guy sitting in the corner. The song was almost over, thank god, it brought back too many memories of my blonde man pookie kitten bear.

"Nah, bro lost to The Rock in just dance," Porter from Monster High announces. Istg if I hear that little closeted homosexual speak again, I'm gonna put pepper spray in his spray paint. "Well, you lost, yk what that means," Dwayne looks at Smelvin. Dwayne's eyes darken and he suddenly grows wings like those 2017 half demon half angel gacha life OC's. Next thing I knew, I saw a neon hot pink light blind the room and Smelvin was gone.

"Did you kill him," Mcqueen asks, scared for their husband. "Worse. The backroom." Nah, bro had that one coming. (never interrupt my wedding cunts)

"I never got to tell him it was my favorite song," Mcqueen says crying. Len and Rin Kagamine comforted them. "Wait, it's your favorite song too?" I look over to the voice and see a musty man. As soon as he stood up, I could see a green trail and flies surrounding him. (Totally not describing the boys at my school seriously WEAR DEODORANT WE CAN SMELL YOU AND YOUR MUST)

"I've always loved the song, the beat was so magical and the tension between the rhythm only pulled me in," Mcqueen says through tears with a glint of hope in their eyes. "Me too! Ahem, I mean, I'm Cbat reddit guy," he says, flustered by Mcqueens beauty.

"Do you, maybe, want to go to a Hudson Mohawke concert sometime?" "Gladly," Mcqueen says, batting their eyelashes. Aw, what a sweet moment but these stinky poopy butt babies have to clean up. They all get up to leave. 

"Whoever cleans up get's to read the secret smut chapter," I yell. They all get cleaning. (Yes, there is a secret chapter, but it's not done yet. I might release it if I actually get votes and comments).

A/N: Sorry this took forever, pookies. I was busy with school. Anyways, I made it to homecoming nominations and got my driver's permit so I may be the first success in my family. Didn't win the homecoming court but I didn't wanna dance with a guy anyways. Like if I won and another girl won I would have literally worshiped the ground she walks on. But I'm still gonna look hot asf in my dress! Who else should I add to the story?