The Things That Will Be

Chapter Nine

James and his father walked back to the house and his father went straight into his room, much to everyone else's chagrin.

His wife had gotten infront of him to give him a hug and say that she loved him. He held his hand out and said that he would talk in a little bit.

"I thought you said he was gonna be better." Michelle said. James shrugged.

"I thought so, too." James said. "I'll go see what the problem is."

He walked into the hallway and towards the bedroom. Michelle and their mother followed. James knocked on the door and spoke to his father.

"Dad, come on out. You said you were going to talk things over with mom." James said.

He opened up the door and saw his father holding a piece of paper in his hands. His father seemed distraught and worried. Afraid of something. James was confused as was everyone else.

"Dad, what's that?" He asked his father. Michelle was just as interested. Their mother seemed to already know.

Their father handed James the paper and told him to read it. James did. The letter was a letter documenting a disease that apparently their father had. James read it out loud to everyone in the room.

"Wait, is this true?" Michelle asked. Their mother nodded in sadness.

"Yes, it's true." She said. James sighed.

"Oh, Jesus Christ." James said. "You didn't tell us? Why didn't you tell us?" Their father shrugged.

"I didn't want to burden you or Michelle. It seemed wrong." He said.

"But Dad, hiding it doesn't make it any better." Michelle said. Their father nodded.

"Yes, I know it doesn't." Their father said. James took a deep breath and sighed. Inhaled and exhaled.

"How long do you have left?" James asked. It was the question him and Michelle feared the most. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, the truth was revealed.

"A month." Their father said. Michelle gasped and put her hands over her mouth. James sighed and lowered his head down. Their father and mother were teary eyed.

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna need a moment." James said and he walked out of the house. Michelle stood there frozen in consternation.

Why was this happening? Was the whole divorce thing just a coverup for the two of them to come over and see them before the bad news broke? It was devastating.

Michelle then walked towards the door and sat beside her brother on the steps. She put her arm around him and James finally bursted out crying.

"There you go." Michelle said as she comforted her brother. James couldn't help it but feel weak and no longer in control of his emotions.

"He's not going to see his grandchild. My child will never know about their grandfather." James said. Michelle stayed silent as she didn't know what to say to that. What could she say to something like that?

"Everything is going to be alright." Michelle said. She looked James straight in the eyes and told him this. James nodded but did he really believe it?

In a month, his father would no longer be here. Was everything going to be alright? He didn't know but he was thankful for her and her support and reassurance. It meant alot. James took a deep breath and got up and made his way to the front door and went in. Michelle followed him.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to say." James said. His father already knew it but James said it for his mother as well as for his father. "Me and Eileen are going to have a kid...in nine months." His mother was shocked and a stream of happy tears fell from her face. His father nodded.

"Oh, James." She said and she ran over to hug her son. James could feel her warm embrace and didn't want to leave it. It reminded him of all those good old times when he was young. How he loved his mother and father.

~

That night, James got on his phone and called Eileen. More than anything else in the world, he just wanted to hear her voice. The sound of Heaven and peace it gave.

He needed to be reminded that he was alive and that this was still reality because for the most part, it felt like some crazy and bizarre fever dream.

"Hey honey, haven't heard from you in a while it seems." Eileen said happily. "How's it going over there?" James started sniffling. "James, what's wrong?" James finally told her.

"My dad's gonna die...in a month." He said. He could hear Eileen gasp in shock.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry." She said and he nodded although she couldn't see it.

"He's never going to meet his grandchild. He's never going to be a grandfather." James sobbed and all he could do or feel like doing was letting it all out. It was better to let it out than to bottle it up inside forever. He stayed on the line with her for at least two hours, sobbing and talking.

~

James went outside around 9 PM and walked on down to the convenient store. He bought a pack of cigarettes and took a stroll down the darkening night having a smoke.

He walked until he made it to a bridge overlooking a lake. He sat on the edge and smoked as he peered down at the black water below. He had slight vertigo and was feeling a little light headed.

And in his mind, he saw that this whole scene he was partaking in was like a creepy depiction of The Divine Comedy painted by Salvador Dali.

He stayed still and paid real close attention to the waters as they moved back and forth, much like his own life in turmoil. He felt like the waves.

He then looked up at the sky and yelled at God. He felt like jumping in and drowning but then that would make things worst for Eileen, Michelle, his mother, and his soon to be gone father.

Hell, his own child would never know their father as well as their grandfather so it was best to stay alive and live in Hell rather than die and selfishly fly to Heaven and leave everyone else in Hell.

What was that line in Paradise Lost? 'Tis better to to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven.' In an odd depressed way, he could relate to Satan in that quote.

He then got his things together and made his way back to the house. Perhaps, sleeping it off would make things a little better. Perhaps so.