LANGELIHLE #01
PRESENT TIME.
LANGELIHLE
“I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat”, the doctor says and I close my eyes preventing the tears that were so close to come out.
“Again?”, my husband, Sondela, asks in disbelief.
“We will do further tests to find out.”, the doctor adds.
I don’t see the point of that. This is the fourth pregnancy we are losing. I always carry up to four months, then when I go for check-up, my baby is no more. I wimp in my seat seeing the disappointment in my husband’s face. He was so excited for this, I was excited too.
Sondela:You have been doing tests for the past fourth pregnancies damn it! Why can’t you just find out what’s wrong with her!?
He snaps at the doctor, he is angry but mostly hurt. We have been married for years but we have no child. That “what’s wrong with her” hits hard because I assume he’s thinking I’m the problem.
“I’m really sorry Mr Mthembu, there is nothing showing on your wife’s body that could cause her to lose all the babies.”
Langelihle:When are you taking him out?
“We will have to wait until you get to the 7th month or full term before we can remove him.”
So I have to carry a dead child? I nod and the doctor leaves to give us space. I side eye Sondela and he was rubbing his eyes frustrated.
Langelihle:I wish I knew what is wrong with me. I’m really sorry Mvelase.
His face turns soft and he relaxes a bit. He holds my hands.
Sondela:It’s not your fault babe.
It feels like it is. Not being able to give your husband a child is really the pits! He may seem understanding right now but you don’t know what tomorrow might bring. In the olden days, a woman’s value was measured by her ability to bear sons for her husband.
Me and Sondela met at a work conference and that’s how our relationship started. We started sneaking around and having moments. We committed to each other years ago, and we tied the knot. Our marriage has been smooth, we do have fights and arguments like any other normal couple. Cheating? I’ve never caught him, but I once suspected because of various reasons.
The big issue we are facing right now, is having a child. I would do anything to give him a child. It really tears my heart Everytime the doctor tells me that there is no heartbeat. I have prayed, cleansed, fasted, did everything to carry to full term but nothing. You would think someone cast a spell on me.
Sondela stands up and I follow after him walking out. The sun is out today.
Sondela:Can you request a ride home? I have to dash somewhere real quick.
Langelihle:Okay…
He gets in the car and drives off without even giving me a hug or a kiss. I know he’s not going to come home today.
I sigh and reach for my phone on my bag. I requested a ride and waited for the driver to arrive. I need to see my father, he will know how to make me feel better.
My ride is taking longer and the sun is terribly hot!
I hug my arms around me and they were so hot! What temperature is it today?
I bring my hand out to the front of my face and rotate it as I stare at this amazing thing that’s happening. It’s like the rays of the sun are orbiting around my hand. It is so beautiful. I get lost to the sight and look at both my hands.
“My sister are you not going?”, I am distracted by the voice. I realize that it’s my ride. When did he get here?
I clear my throat and hop in. He confirms the address and drives.
“You like the sun?”
Langelihle:What do you mean?
“You were staring directly at the sun without squinting your eyes. You could have got burnt.”
I laugh at the last statement. He is exaggerating, I was only looking at my hands.
We arrive at my father’s house and I pay him. I step out and head inside. I know the old man is by the porch reading a newspaper, with a glass of juice next to him. I head to the porch and like I suspected he’s reading the newspaper. I chuckle and hug him. He embraces me longer.
Bheki:You didn’t tell me you would be visiting.
Langelihle:It’s a surprise.
I smile and my smile slowly disappears.
Bheki:How did it go?
Langelihle:It happened again.
I say with a heavy heart.
Bheki:I’m sorry my sun, we should fast again and pray more harder. Nothing is above God!
Langelihle:I’ve lost hope baba, my husband has also lost hope. This is draining me emotionally and physically. Now I have to carry him up to the 7th month and be reminded that I lost him. This will be the fourth child I’m burying. Don’t I deserve to be a mother?
He makes me lie on his lap. I cry and let my tears out, with him patting my back softly like I’m a child.
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SONDELA
I head inside and I’m met by Zenande running to my arms.
“Daddy!”, she exclaims excitedly. I spin her around and she giggles.
Sondela:Uphi u mama? (Where’s your mother?)
Zenande:She’s at her room.
I put her down and walk to the bedroom..
She was putting on a dress. I hugged her from behind and gave her a kiss on the neck.
Sondela:Hi.
Zimthele:Hey. How was your day?
Sondela:We lost him again.
Zimthele:I’m sorry. I know how much it meant to you.
Sondela:It’s okay. I guess I just have to accept it.
Zimthele:How is she taking it?
Sondela:Trying to be strong and putting the blame on herself.
Zimthele:I hope she be okay.
Sondela:She will… where is Bayanda? I only saw Zenande.
Zimthele:Oh, he went to a play date with a friend from school.
Sondela:Is he safe?
Zimthele:He is safe. I met the parents.
Sondela:Okay.
I sat on the bed and took off my shoes and my clothes.
Zimthele:What are you doing?
Sondela:I am stressed nana, and I have missed you.
She smiles a little and sits on my lap. I feel myself getting harder by the second.
Zimthele:I missed you too.
I give her a deep kiss while grabbing her boobs.
Sondela:Then show me how much you missed me.
She kneels on the floor and takes my d* all in her mouth.
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>>>>
