Red {Wolf Rebellion I}

Chapter 17~Living In A Nightmare~

I am living in a nightmare, from which from time to time I wake in sleep.
-Ursula K. Le Guin

Chapter 17~Living In A Nightmare~

The sedatives held me under as I suffered in my nightmares. I relived the worst night of my life, over and over as I struggled to reach the surface. But this time, it was a mix of truth and lies. I watched the wolves fight over my body, biting and snarling at each other to get to me. I felt the injuries my twelve year old body had sustained.

But somehow, those images weren't the worst.

In some, Adam was looking for me frantically, searching Red's hallways and calling my name. Then Claret would appear and drag him to the second level.

The third one was always the worst. Claret had somehow managed to track us down, and the safehouse was raided. I watched as Carmine was executed on the spot for being a traitor. His blood as red as the infamous cloak, it seemed to pour down the walls like a waterfall, flooding the room until I choked on it.

The drugs held me immobile as I watched Cas tear out Adam's throat, before being put down like the animal Claret claimed he was.

So much red.

I tried to make sense of my body, to pull myself from that hell, but it didn't work. I was stuck in an endless cycle of torture for what seemed like forever.

Adam appeared again, and I braced myself for whatever was going to happen next.

He moved closer, and I watched as his eyes narrowed. His lips formed a single word.

"Ruby!"

I jerked awake, gasping in relief as I felt the tears on my face. I realized Carmine was holding me up; he'd shaken me awake.

As feeling came back into my limbs, so did my emotions. My fury returned full force as I pushed his arms off me, ignoring the concern in his eyes. He had put me in that nightmare, he'd sedated me like a wild animal. "You bastard!" I snarled.

I lunged at him.

My body moved sluggishly as it recovered from the drugs, so it was all too easy for him to restrain me. He trapped my hands between his, pushing me back down onto the bed. I shoved at his hands, angry at the images playing behind my eyes. I'd put this behind me a long time ago. It had been years since I'd had a nightmare like this.

His green eyes made me freeze, unable to move under his gaze.

"I'm so sorry." His free hand suddenly brushed across my cheek, and I flinched in surprise. Then I realized he was wiping away my tears. "I was an idiot. I threw all of that at you and I didn't think about the nightmares."

"Why in the hell would you do that?" My voice was bitter, my anger swelling again. I tried to shove him off again, screaming in frustration when my limbs wouldn't cooperate. This was his fault. The way I was feeling, this mess with Red, it was all on him.

I hated how Carmine's eyes softened as he pulled me up against him. "It's okay red, do whatever you need to do."

My jaw clenched. I wanted to hit him, to scream at him and ask him why he'd done this to me. Everything had been fine until he'd shown up, I'd been ignorant, but looking back, I would've preferred that to this confusion. I no longer knew who I could trust, and I didn't know myself. Everything from seven years ago, it was like it had happened all over again.

Instead, I burst into tears.

The harder I tried to stop, the more I cried. I felt Carmine's arms tighten around me as my tears soaked his shirt.