Red {Wolf Rebellion I}

Chapter 7~Not Knowing~

The thing I'm most afraid of is me. Of not knowing what I'm going to do. Of not knowing what I'm doing right now.

-Unknown

Chapter 7~Not Knowing~

I couldn't comprehend Carmine's words. The idea that someone had drugged me, that I couldn't remember what they wanted me to forget. I didn't understand.

"Why?" I nearly choked on my words. "What would someone want me to forget?" I pushed away from him, realizing what he'd said earlier. "You know!" I turned on him. "Tell me what I'm not remembering!"

My emotions twisted inside me, smothering me. Someone had messed with my memories, and it made me want to throw up. Why? The worst part was that I could clearly remember yesterday, it didn't feel like I'd been drugged, but if what Carmine said was right, yesterday's memories weren't real.

Carmine shook his head. "It's not that simple. We don't know what drugs they gave you, or how long they last. It could-"

I whirled around, heading for the door. "We have to tell Claret. She'll know what to do." I reassured myself, trying to calm the rising hysteria. I would fix this, and then I'd focus on Carmine. One thing at a time.

Before I could take another step, I felt Carmine grab the back of my shirt and pull. I stumbled back into him, his arms trapping me.

"What ar-"

"Don't tell anyone about this." He hissed in my ear and I shivered. I'd never heard him like this. "Don't let anyone know that you know. We don't know who did this."

I struggled away. "Let me go, Carmine." I couldn't control the hitch in my voice. My emotions were all over the place right now, and I didn't want to think about the small part of me that told me everything would be okay if I just stayed where I was.

I needed to find Adam.

I felt Carmine shake his head, and his chest rumbled with his voice. "Not until you promise not to tell, not even Adam."

I shook my head. "He didn't do this."

"Ruby." Carmine warned, and I knew he was serious. He wasn't going to let go until I promised.

I sighed. "Fine. I won't tell anyone." As soon as his arms loosened, I shot forward, away from him.

I reached for the door handle as Carmine gave me one last piece of advice. "Don't take any pills. Don't eat or drink anything anyone gives you, even your friends. They may not know what they're doing."

I nodded. "I won't."

Carmine's eyes hardened, but he nodded. "Make sure. Don't give anyone any reason to think something's changed," he paused, making sure his eyes met mine as he said his next words.

"Remember not to say anything, someone might not know what they're doing."

I nodded silently, already into the hallway. I barely caught the next words that he spoke under his breath, "Or maybe they do."

A chill traveled down my spine as I hurried away.

+

I knocked quickly on Adam's door, hoping he was alone. I'd tried to shove all my emotions to the back of my head, but I feared once I saw Adam, they'd all bubble back to the surface.

I no longer knew what to believe. I couldn't even trust my memories of my past now. The way Carmine had acted, like he knew I wasn't remembering the exact version of events I should have. Which also made me wonder exactly what, and how, he knew.