Red {Wolf Rebellion I}

Chapter 31~Try Delusion~

Swing me these sorrows,
And try delusion for awhile,
It's such a beautiful lie,
You've got to lose inhibition.

-Hurts, "Illuminated"

Chapter 31~Try Delusion~

I was still numb from the ice water I'd been blasted with. So when I finally stepped into the hot shower, the water scalded my skin. I jumped back away from the liquid lava, reaching for the handle and yanking it cooler. Damn smug wolf, I thought, stepping back under the spray of slightly cold water slowly.

I kept my attention on the temperature of the water, not daring to let my thoughts stray to my real concerns.

If I was honest with myself, my earlier episode scared the shit out of me. I'd seen that emblem hanging on the wall...and I'd snapped. The constant ups and downs of the last few days were beginning to take their toll on me.

I knew Cas had been taunting me earlier, but I couldn't stop thinking about the truth in his words. We were weak-the humans. So many of us believed we were the superior race, but we weren't, not by a long shot. The wolves and Lupines, they had strength and power far greater than anything we were capable of.

Well look at Red. While we liked to believe we were evenly matched for the wolves, we weren't. No matter how much training we had, how many weapons we armed ourselves with, it was all practically useless against the wolves. If they were that strong physically, it wasn't hard to imagine how mentally strong they were compared to us either.

It almost made me jealous of them; their ability to handle any situation they were thrown into. I'd never seen Cas or Shani truly shaken. Even at the mall with Crimson, when Kat had frozen, Cas had reacted immediately.

What happens to Jasper if Claret figures out we're communicating? My thoughts took a dive toward the inevitable. What's already happening to him? He was part of our team. After what happened at Chaos, he's gotta be on lockdown. I don't think Claret would risk us getting to him.

But then, they didn't seem too concerned with getting us back at Chaos either. That was another thing that continued to weigh heavily on my thoughts. Why had they let us escape? What was Claret waiting for?

The spray of now-cold water against my back was enough to drag me from my thoughts, and I twisted around to shut the water off.

I grabbed my towel from the edge of the sink, focusing on each thread to not let myself be pulled back into my morbid thoughts.

Back in my room I found my shoulder bag from Red. I packed the few clothes and spare daggers that I had. I grabbed the journal from the nightstand and tucked that in too. Taking one last glance around the room, I decided to go find Carmine. The thought of facing him after he'd seen me earlier made me more than a little apprehensive, but I had to see him.

As I left the room I couldn't help thinking how final everything felt, like regardless of what happened, we wouldn't come back to this place.

Think happy thoughts, Ruby, I murmured to myself.

"Hey Ruby!"

The voice pulled me abruptly out of my thoughts, and I turned to see Cas jogging down the hallway.

"Oh. Hi Cas." I frowned at the expression on his face, but I figured I could at least apologize for earlier while he was here. "Hey, about earlier-"

"It's fine. Listen-we really need to talk. Like right now." He suddenly reached for me and I felt myself tense.

"Why? What's going on?" I paused, and then it hit me. Oh God. "Whose hurt?"

Cas shook his head. "No. Ruby you don't understand. We need to-"