I Didn't Know You'd be the One to Save Me - VegasPete

Chapter 22

Vegas hated this. He might have loved his job, but this was one aspect that he hated more than anything else. I hated performing CPR on lifeless bodies. These people couldn't do or say anything and Vegas couldn't even begin to imagine how painful it might have been to have someone pressing down onto their sternum with such force.

"It's been 5 minutes, Dr. Theerapanyakun," the nurse says causing Vegas to look up. But he knew better than to get distracted. He could not let anything destroy his rhythm.

"10 minutes, Dr. Theerapanyakun."

"Fuck!" he thought as he applied more force with each movement. "Just fucking wake up!" he wanted to yell so badly.

"Dr. Theerapanyakun, it's been 20 minutes, you should stop now," the nurses spoke as they walked towards him and took a hold of his arms, trying to pull him away from the patient. That was one thing about Vegas, he simply didn't want to give up. On numerous occasions he had resuscitated his patient successfully and he knew he was a good doctor, but sometimes Vegas forgot that he was in fact not God, but human and nothing he did or said could change the fact that sometimes patients would die.

Vegas was moments away from tears, but held them back. Just the sight of the lifeless body. Vegas felt like a failure. He wanted more than anything to bring this person back, but he knew better. It was time. It was the patient's time. His journey on Earth had come to an end and there was nothing Vegas could do about it.

He took a step back and bowed his head slightly before taking a glance at his watch, "Time of Death, 23:15"

The room became silent and Vegas just wanted to run away, as far as he possibly could. I couldn't bare this feeling of death and misery. He couldn't stand hearing the hard cries of the patient's family as they fell to the floor, clutching the stretcher, clearly not ready to say goodbye.

Vegas looked over to the head nurse and nodded. He knew me well enough to know that these very high emotion situations weren't something I could handle. Time and time again, he had to find a way to detach from the patient, their family and all the feelings.

Usually, Vegas would just sit aside and try to calm down and within minutes he'd be back at it. But this time, everything felt different. It had been a while since his last resuscitation, especially a failed one. Usually, on his shifts, patients would not code, they kinda stayed alive for the most part.

If Vegas recalled correctly, the last time he felt like this was roughly three months ago, before he had met Pete. Somehow, he managed to get over his mother's death but seeing Pete had left his emotions heightened even more than before.

As Vegas watched the nurse cover the patient with the white sheet, he held onto his chest, mere moments away from breakdown.

He turned to the doorway and immediately met Pete's eyes. And that's when he lost it all. The pain became unbearable. From being rejected by someone he knew he had true and deep romantic feelings for to the memories of watching his mother being resuscitated, Vegas didn't know how to take in all of these unfortunate emotions.

Vegas stopped dead in his tracks and took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to block out Pete from his memories. He tried to organize his thoughts and figure out where he wanted to go for a short time out.

Without talking to anyone or many any further gestures, Vegas walked off and enter the common staff room that housed the beds and kitchen where doctors and nurses would spend their free time relaxing or studying.

Vegas somehow commanded respect wherever he went. Part of him assumed it was because he never came across as friendly. It often took quite some time for people to become familiar with his behaviour and habits, but, nevertheless, he still managed to find his place in this hospital.

With that begin said, despite this being a common staff room, Vegas had his own special bed in his own special corner, where on he could spend his time. And as far as he knew, no one dared enter his space.

His bed was in the further corner away from the kitchen, up against the wall that had a mirror. No one really spent much time here especially this late at night, so when Vegas saw the night sky sprinkled with bright stars, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder when he saw how beautiful the scene was.

Vegas sat at the edge of the bed, staring out the window, But that wasn't enough for him to forget the turmoil of emotions he was feeling; it was just a momentary distraction.

"I miss her. I miss her so much. I miss him so much too. Why the fuck was I always so alone?" Vegas thought to himself. It pained him how he kept seeming to lose everyone he cared for. He just wanted to no be so alone all the time. He felt like no one wanted him; like no one could ever put up with him and his difficult personality and part of him hated himself for that.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he looked down, sobbing. He really was hurting so much so that his heart felt like it would explode or shatter. Whatever it was, he felt like his heart could no longer bear the weight of this pain.

"Vegas?" he heard causing his to turn around. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear the door open. However, despite him trying him best to figure out who had entered the room, he could not make out this person.