Ideas and Oneshots

Idea 37 - Kiss Me

'What the hell' is apparently the first thing that came to mind when receiving my first kiss. Crazy right? Well not when you consider the Background.

1: A bubbling, idiotic, Woman that- keep in mind you dont know, Comes guns a blazing ( hyperbole ) into your classroom, walks up to your table pulls you in by your tie to kisses you. Right there in front of a whole crowd

2: while your mouth is being surched like a couch for loose change by a woman with curly blond hair, you hold a beaker of lye and a another of Clorox in your gloved hands. Which at any moment could slip out of those buttery (Hyperbole) fingers of yours and burn either of your skins off.

3: Your googles push into your nose painfully, becouse the girl who has a fist full of your tie and is attached to you by a soft pair of lips, wears Thick rimed glasses.

And finally my final,

4: i was in the middle of a experiment and had everyones eyes on me. including my co-workers.

The girl pulls away and i instantly put both beakers down on the table before using my forarm to wipe my mouth off. i scoff at the glittery residue on my arm 'women'.

"You ASSHOLE!" I flinch at her anger filled voice in my face. i am struck on the cheek by the very same woman who just kissed me, her blazing eyes glareing at me. "Excuse me love, but i think you have the wrong--" I say honestly bewildered. And now my check hurts.

"You break up with me over text? TEXT?! That is the first and last kiss you'll ever get from the likes of me 'Howard' as If to think i bought you a muffin on my way here to supprise you. " she cuts me off. a lemon poppy seed muffin in shoved in my face as the woman stomps her tiny heels out of my classroom.

Howard? Who knew he was getting anything. What in the hell just happened. i take a deep breath and rake a hand through my hair taking a few seconds to compose myself

"Well anyways, The lye-"

im cut off by a few of my students bursts of hysterics. " Oh my god! It worked!" one gliggled. "Dr. Howard?! That couldnt be the further from Prof. Danials!" "T-The look on his face!!"

What worked? "Care to tell me what just happened?" i look up at my class moving my eyes from the crumbled muffin on my table.

"Senior prank Sir." One of the shy ones from the front says over the laughs. i should habe known. i jokingly glare at the girl who probably proposed the idea Vivian.

i sigh, "Vivian cocks stay behind after class, everyone else gloogles on lets get back to the operation at hand."

My first kiss gone becouse of a senior prank? Seriously? I mean at this point i dont really care but i was trying to see how long i could last without a kiss. dont get me wrong i've dated, but for some reason or another i didnt end up kissing them and by the time i turned 25 i thought it was a random fact about me and play a game with myself util now... i guess.

First kiss at 41 who would have thought.

"Yes Professor Eugene." i groan internally this girl has always had it out for me for no bloody reason, i hate my first name told them all to call me Professor Danials. "please save senior pranks for breaks. though i would like to hear how the hell this happened anyways." a soft smile reaches her lips.

"well first i set up a fake dating app profile under Dr. Howard's name and your handsome picture." she blushes slightly as if shes embarrassed to call me Handsome. i cant help how i look, i dont understand peoples tendancy to call me such things but i digress.

"she was the first one who messaged the acount. Dora, i think. anyway she seemed easy and we talked for a few months. I then told her to meet 'me' here today but three minutes before she walked in i sent her 'i dont want to see you anymore.  this is goodbye' " she laughed at this poor girl's feelings for a man that doesn't exist.  i drag my fingers through my hair.  "May i have her number to apologize at the very least." I Ask this 'adult' in front of me. 
My cheek still hurts. 

" yeah sure whatever.  its 020-677-2234."  i commit the woman's numbrr to memory before dismissing Vivian.