Melody (Ransom Drysdale)

18

Ransom hadn't expected to see Joni in his living room the next afternoon, nor did he expect the sadistic sounds scaping from her mouth, where she was humming and doing some sort of interpretive dance around Audrey.

"Why the fuck did you let her in!" He hissed as Melody came over to him, looking very traumatised.

"I didn't have a choice!" She muttered irritably and pulled him to one side where his nutty aunt couldn't hear them. "She all but barged in with her fucking whale CDs and herbal baby lotions! Says she wants Audrey to be the first one to try Flam's products".

"By what? Sacrificing her to the hippy gods she prays to!" Ransom gestured to where Audrey was simply staring at Joni from her baby bouncer, and quite possibly making some silent judgement if her expression was anything to go by. 

Melody shook her head. "I have no idea how the hell to get rid of her!"

Ransom watched and then turned to her. "And you expect me to?"

"She's your aunt!"

"You let her in!"

"She let herself in! I couldn't exactly get her to go away! I've been forced to listen to her talking about vegan baby oil and how we need to start getting Audrey to try and meditate before bed...she can't even fucking sit up!"

Ransom just blinked, a little bemused at what she'd just said. "Shit". He muttered as Joni now clocked that he was there and waved him over. 

"There you are! You could use this too, may help with your anger issues". She now stopped and looked at her nephew.

"I don't have any Damn anger issues Joni!"

She sighed, "now that sounded very aggressive to me" and then turned to Mel.  "Melanie..."

"It's Melody". She corrected Joni

"Whatever, how on earth do you put up with him?" Joni now asked, not really caring about whether she'd said her name wrong.

Melody glanced to Ransom and smirked. "I don't, he's an insufferable twat quite frankly". And then walked over to grab Audrey. "Joni I'm afraid we're gonna have to cut this short, I have...baby massage classes to attend and completely forgot I've got one in an hour".

She knew that would throw the woman and get her to leave.

"Oh yeah, of course!" Joni waved it off and got her bags. "Now that's an important therapy - a good massage to keep them calm and does wonders for that digestive system". She now put some bottles onto the table. "I'll leave these samples here, let me know what you think! I'll be back this time next week!" Blowing a few air kisses to Audrey and her. 

Ransom already was stood by the open front door, ready to kick his aunt out. "Oh, you really won't be". He muttered and shut the door as Joni turned to say something else before she left. "Goodbye Joni!" He yelled and walked into the living room. "Seriously, what the hell?" He asked Melody, picking up the Flam samples of death and looking at the ingredients listed for any signs of use of illegal substances. He wouldn't be surprised considering Joni always acted like she was as high as a kite. 

"Just don't...I'm traumatised enough. Apparently, I need to put up more lavender around the house to calm us all, her words not mine!" Melody quickly pointed out as he now glared. "I think she forgets I have qualifications in Childcare and other areas that fall under it". 

"This isn't even her at her worst". Ransom now said, dumping the samples into the trash.

"I'm going to make sure that I'm conveniently out next week".

"Good, coz you're gonna have to be. Got a date coming back here on Monday evening". Ransom told her.

Melody now stared at him, "Wait, what!"

"I'm giving you plenty of notice".

"Hugh! We said weekends only! Why a weekday?"

He said nothing other than, "my house, my rules". Which pissed her off as it meant she had no argument.

"Hugh". Melody pressed. He was up to something for sure.

With a rather exaggerated huff, he turned to her. "I...well, it's a third date".

"What? In one day? Or with the same woman...hold on". Melody now smirked on realising what could be going on. "You're bringing home a girl you've seen more than once, aren't you?" Now this was something she could tease him about. "Does Hugh Ransom Drysdale actually like a girl enough to see her again and again?"

"Shut up".

His reaction was obvious. This was a girl or rather a potential girlfriend. "You told me that one fuck was enough?" Melody continued to jibe. He'd said that to her one morning after she'd watched him literally escort a very hungover girl from his home.

"Not with this this one". He admitted before returning to his normal demeanour. "Anyway, you're gonna have to go stay at Harlan's or something because I'm not having you or Audrey here to come screwing things up".

"Charming". Melody rolled her eyes. "Rest assured we'll be out of your hair, and you and your fuck buddy can enjoy some time doing whatever things you do together".

"She's not a damn fuck buddy, Mel".

"I know, I just wanted to see whether you'd admit it was more - and you pretty much have". She smirked and made for upstairs to go and change Audrey's diaper.

"You're treading on thin ice!" He called after her. 

"Not treading! Skating!"