The Huntress

Regrets

They approach the Hokage Mansion, emotions running high. Katsume's stomach began to swirl aggressively, a light film of nervous sweat coating her forehead. Jiraiya can sense her apprehension, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently, as he guides her through the door of Tsunade's office.

Tsunade stands in their presence, fidgeting nervously. She can barely remember a time when she was this scared. She wipes her clammy palms on her grass-green haori before audibly swallowing the lump in her throat. "I--uh...I owe you both an apology. There are no excuses for what I've done, the mistakes I've made."

Her voice breaks slightly and she tilts her head back, feeling tears welling up in her but wills them away, she had no right to cry. She can't even bring herself to look at them, the shame forcing her eyes downcast.

Jiraiya didn't appreciate that, not one bit. His voice was low and demanding, "Look at us, Tsunade."

A chill runs down her spine. The way he spoke to her was unlike his usually joyful, carefree attitude. It made her want to curl into a ball in the corner. It made her feel small. Her head feels like it weighs a ton as she brings her gaze to meet their awaiting eyes. She takes a deep inhale, collecting her thoughts.

"Katsume, I'm so sorry. There was not a day that went by that I didn't regret my decision. I didn't feel I was capable of being the mother you deserved. At the time, I believed I was ill-equipped to provide the emotional stability needed for a child. I was selfish. I should never have left you."

She sighs, feeling a slight weight lift from her shoulders, ignorant of the facial expressions on the pair in front of her.

Katsume gapes incredulously. "You regret it?" She scoffs, "Then why didn't you come back for me? You may not have been ready for a child, but maybe Jiraiya was! If you had, at the very least, told him, I could have had a father! Instead, you left me with that Old Bat! Did you even know her? Or did you drop me somewhere random and cross your fingers they weren't rotten?" She laughs in mocking. Not because it was amusing, but because it was so absolutely ridiculous.

Tsunade stood in shock, the impact of her daughter's words running through her mind rampantly. She hadn't known the old lady. She was just a nice woman she saved from a group of enemy shinobi during the Second Shinobi War. The woman had given her a place to rest when she had been separated from Jiraiya and Orochimaru, fed her a nice home-cooked meal, and tended to her wounds. She was lovely, and Tsunade remembered her years later while she was pregnant, seeking and finally finding her still living in the same quaint little country house in the Land of Rice Paddies. At first, the old lady was hesitant to accept Tsunade's proposal but eventually gave in, agreeing to adopt the child as her own after she was born. She offered her home to Tsunade until she gave birth, but being as she was already nine months pregnant, it wasn't long until the baby was born. She left the next day and never turned back.

"You're right. I didn't know her well, but she took me in during the war to repay me for saving her life. I felt I could trust her. I should've come back for you, but I believed you were better off without me. I see now that I was wrong. I've made so many mistakes, and I can't change the past. I don't expect you two to forgive me, but I will do anything to try and make up for the things I've done. Katsume, I'd like to be a part of your life...if you'll have me." Tsunade hopefully looks into her daughter's eyes, trying to read her response.

Jiraiya was furious. She had planned it...she had actually taken the time to consider who she would leave their child with while she was pregnant, but never considered him. He was so hurt he couldn't match her eye contact anymore. With his already-tightened fist, he wanted to yell, scream, curse, and blow a hole through the closest wall. But looking at the way Katsume glared at her with pain and disgust, tampering with her beautiful features, probably feeling all that he is and more, he couldn't bear to stand there anymore. He wanted to tuck Katsume under his arm like one would a small child and vanish to Mount Myoboku. He shook the thought. He'd have his own discussion with Tsunade later. She needs this. She needs the opportunity to express how Tsunade made her feel. To force her to understand the trauma she inflicted on her daughter by leaving her without a mother or anyone but a stranger.