The Freak and The Angel

Chapter 30 : Home

I partially woke up with the sun. It's hard to open my eyes. I have a horrible migraine, and my skin feels like ice, my insides feel like fire. My entire body hurts all over, so much so that I can feel myself shaking. I don't know if I need more blankets or a cold shower. The intense pain I feel all over is making me nauseous.

I quickly sit up in search of a bucket or trash can. The movement makes me feel a million times worse. I manage to grab my trashcan just in time as I start to get sick, nothing much coming up besides bile. The sound wakes up Eddie and Gareth, who both fell asleep on my bed a while after I blacked out.

"Oh my god. Angel? Are you alright?" Gareth asks as he sits up beside me.

Eddie is quick to move to my other side, looking me over. He gently rubs my back as he tries to comfort me.

I don't answer. I close my eyes as I try to stop myself from throwing up more. Eddie reaches a hand to my face, slowly turning me toward him.

He takes in the dark circles around my eyes, my shaky breaths, my dry cracking lips, and cold clammy skin. He feels and sees me trembling. He instantly realizes what's happening.

"Angel?" My name is a whisper as it leaves his lips, I slightly cringe at the sound. He's witnessing the visible signs that I'm starting to, if not already, going through withdrawal. This is the first time in those awful two years that I'm not being pumped full of some type of substance.

"I don't feel so good." I barely open my eyes to look at him before I pull away from him and shove my face back in the trashcan. There isn't much of anything in my stomach to be coming up.

"Stay here with her." He tells Gareth as he gets up and rushes out to his room.

As much as he hates the idea, he digs around, searching for something, anything to help me in my current state. He never wanted me to do the hard drugs, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

While Eddie looks for a miracle, I finally stop getting sick for the time being. I can't help but whimper and cry from the intense pain.

"Shh, it'll be okay." Gareth coos as he pulls my aching body close to him.

I rest my head on his shoulder as he softly strokes my head, hushing me the best he can. He slowly lays down, taking me with him, trying his hardest to comfort me. His hold on me reminds  me of Eddies, loving. The way he strokes my hair, I almost feel like maybe he was one of my past boyfriends?

It may have taken a little longer than with Eddie, but as I lay in Gareth's grasp, the smell of him, and how he's cradling me,  triggers my memories. They don't slam into me as hard as Eddie's, but they did start to flash back to me rapidly all the same.

When he joined Eddie in starting a band. Our birthday outing to the faire. When he came to the trailer after my suicide attempts. When he was part of the intervention that saved my life, and he told me he loves me, that I'm like a sister to him. All the huge moments in our lives together, to the smallest most insignificant.

"Gareth?" I whisper, hugging onto him as tight as I can. If I didn't feel like I was dying, I would be much more excited about remembering him.

"Yeah? Are you okay?" He asks as he continues to rub my head. His fingers running over the short little hairs make me think back to my first nights in this trailer when Eddie would comfort me from nightmares.

"No." I reply to his question. I try to look at him the best I can. Though the sun is blocked somewhat by the curtain, it's still way too bright. I try to smile a bit as I focus on his precious face. "I remember." I whisper.

"Yeah?" He quietly asks, looking down at my darkened eyes.

"Yeah." I reply, nuzzling against him a bit.