Haunted (Alastor X Reader)

Chapter 38

"You want to know the saddest part?"
He asked.

You hummed in response, consoling the vulnerable man in your arms. Your heart hurt for him. You couldn't blame him for what he did, and you especially couldn't blame him for how he felt after all was said and done.

"My only regret is how I made her feel." He sniffled. "But what I did to him? I'd do a hundred times again with the same grin on my face. And it hurts me because I... I'm afraid I killed her in the process..." he sniveled.

"No. You did what you thought was right."

"She died of a broken heart because of me..."

"You can't blame yourself, anything could have happened to her. You were trying to save her."

"It's all my fault..."

"It's not your fault." You held him tighter. "There's only so much a person can do. We can't preserve a life forever..."

"It's not fair..." he cried.

"I know how much you miss her." You said softly, petting his ears and hugging him close to you. Feeling emotional yourself as his sobs softened, slowly feeling his erratic breaths become more evenly paced. "I know how much it hurts to have so much left unsaid."

Alastor sniffled again and nodded slowly. He knew you understood.

"One of the hardest things about life... is we always think we have more time..." You said softly. "Another day to make a lifestyle change, another day to do something you enjoy, another day to be with the people you care about... so we take for granted what we have... only when it's too late do we realize all the things we wish we did differently..."

"If I had known the last time I saw her was going to be the last time, I would have told her so much..." he sniveled, letting you wipe his tears away with your thumbs.

"What would you have said to her?" You asked gently.

"I would tell her that I'm sorry..." he sobbed, his body trembling in your arms as he curled up to you. Clutching onto your shirt as he buried his face into you. "I would have told her that everything I did for her, I did it because I cared about her. Because I wanted to see her happy. I would have sat with her and listened to what she had to say. I wouldn't have shouted at her. I would have... Thanked her, for everything she ever did. For raising me to be the person that I am, and tell her that she was the most amazing parent I could have asked for. I would've apologized for hurting her... I would have told her the truth, even if it meant her resenting me, because she deserves to know..."

He hugged you again, taking a sharp breath in as he fought back another wave of tears. "I miss her so much, I miss her so fucking much..."

~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~

"But when I die, fetch me my straight legged britches," Alastor sang, feeling the warm southern breeze greeting his skin as he drove home with the window down. "Put on a box-back coat and a stetson hat, put a twenty-dollar gold piece on my watch chain so you can let all the boys know I died standing pat."

The sun had finally disappeared somewhere under the horizon as he pulled into the long driveway leading to his house. Continuing to sing quietly to himself as he turned and grabbed a few things he had brought back from the hunting shack. Boots and other hunting gear that needed to be cleaned or patched up that he figured might as well grab while he was there.

"And give me six crap shootin' ball bearers, let a chorus girl sing me a song~." He continued, getting out of the vehicle with his belongings under each arm as he shut the door. Walking up to his dimly lit home, almost not noticing the silhouette sitting in front of the door. Startling him as he looked up from grabbing his house key from his pocket, almost causing him to drop his things.