You woke up tied to a barrel on a ship with a bird as the head and a bunch of hearts on the sails.
You: How the hell?
???: Hmm. Why is there dust on my bulwark?
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Pirate 1: A thousand pardons Lady Alvida!! I-I thought I cleaned every inch of this ship! I'll clean everything all over again! Please--!
Alvida: "Please" what...?
Pirate 1: Please, not the iron mace! I-I don't wanna die!!
She proceeded to hit him with said mace and got sent flying.
Alvida: Koby! Who is the fairest throughout all the seas?
Koby: Ahem... Heh-heh... Why YOU are Lady Alvida. No one compares to you.
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Alvida: Correct! Which is why I will not tolerate anything dirty. The ship I sail in must be as clean and beautiful as I am. Understand?!
You broke free of the rope and walked over to Koby. You slapped the shit out of him
You: Shut yo male version of Sakura big forehead-ass up. You have horrible taste dude.
Koby: Huh?
Alvida: HUHHH?! HOW THE HELL DID YOU ESCAPE?!!
You: Yeah, sorry that first part came from nowhere, but I meant that second bit.
You turned to her.
You: You bitch, leave him alone. If your gonna talk about being pretty and be a bitch, at least look like it. By the way, if you're going to be ugly on the outside, be nicer on the inside.
Alvida: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!!!
She swung her mace at you. You quickly dodged and jumped into the water.
You: Oh fuck, I can't swim.
Luckily, she grabbed you by the head and pulled you out of there.
Alvida: Oh I'm not done with you!
She winded up to swing her mace but you kicked her shin and bolted to the forest. You couldn't take that gross sight anymore.
Alvida: FIND THAT LITTLE BITCH AND BRING HIM TO ME!!
