She has always been alone, if you exclude her grandpa and books of course.
He has always been surrounded by people, never mind them not being good for him.
One little mistake at fifteen has brought him to her stomping ground.
She's a bibliophile...
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It's been three weeks.
Three weeks since my pops left me alone.
His funeral was... I don't even know, I blacked out.
I haven't been in school for the whole three weeks.
August comes by the house every day to make sure I'm eating and shit.
Graduation is in like a month so it doesn't really matter.
I asked my university's council, UCLA, to start in the summer, meaning in June I'm leaving.
And I don't think I'm planning on coming back.
It hurts. Everything hurts.
Seeing his unmade bed when I walk by his room, his reading nook outside, all the books strewn around the place, everything reminds me of him.
I can't even look at books anymore without bursting into tears.
The only thing that ever gave me a form of escapism is the one main thing now that hurts me like a bitch.
And as much as August is around I can't help but feel alone.
My whole life I have been an orphan, but it's only now that I feel like one.
***
"Jade?" August calls as he enters my house, as he usually does at four thirty every day for the past three weeks.
He starts ascending the stairs to get to my room.
"Hey," he whispers as he enters my room.
My door is wide open so I'm not really mad that he just walked in.
I'm actually glad that he did, we don't have much time until I leave, he doesn't know that I'm leaving early, I'm gonna miss him.
I scoot to the side to make room for him to get on the bed.
He places a white bag, that I'm sure is filled to the brim with a home cooked meal that his mom makes, on my desk, then he toes off his shoes and lays next to me on my bed.
My bed barely fits me and him together but we make it work.
"How's my best friend doing today?" He asks as he sweeps a piece of hair off my face.
"Not great," I reply.
Same lines every day.
There is a comfort in routine, in knowing exactly how your day is gonna be, what is going to be said and with who.
He kisses my forehead and places his chin on the crown of my head as he tucks me closer to him.
That's what I love about August, he doesn't demand so much from me, he's letting me heal at my own pace.
Not expecting me to be happy go lucky after a few weeks.
I love him.
It took me a while to understand that but when you don't leave your bed for more than three minutes at a time to pee you get tons of time to think.
He is the perfect guy, he's got it all, the looks, the humor, the brains and let's not forget the giant fucking heart he's got.
But I'm not ready for him right now, my mind is too scattered and my heart is too broken.
I would hate myself even more if I broke his.
So I'm keeping a small distance from him.
Which sucks because I know I'm hurting him and no matter how hard I push him away he stands tall against every shove and worms his way back under my skin.
I wish I was strong enough for him, but I'm not, I'm so fucking weak.
A tear rolls down my cheek as all those intrusive thoughts creep up on me and as much as I try to hide it August notices. He always does.
"What are you thinking about that is making those beautiful eyes of yours drown?" She asks gently as he ticks me to him.
"Nothing." I mutter, trying to hold in a sob.
"Come here." He pulled me completely on top of him and tucked my head into the crook of his neck.
"I love you." He mutters against my hair, "don't ever forget that, you are my greatest love."
I break out in sobs that shake my whole body.
"Shit," he curses, "I knew I should've waited, this was too soon." He wraps both arms around me tightly as if he's afraid I'll run away if he doesn't hold me tight enough.
But what he doesn't know is that his arms are the safest place on earth for me right now, I wouldn't leave his arms even if the world crashed around us.
And that realization makes me cry harder, cause in two months I'm leaving this boy behind.
"I've got you." He whispers.
"I'm leaving." I tell him at the same time.
He freezes.
"What?" He asks.
I lift my head up to look at him, "I'm leaving early for college."
"What's early?" He asks.
"June." I reply.
"In two months." He whispers.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I can't stay here, August." I bury my head in his neck again, I can't face him.
"I'm not going to tell you to stay just because I'm here, but I am asking of you to not ignore me." He tells me.
"Just because you're not in this stupid town doesn't mean I'm not here for you, I'm not just in your corner, Jade, I'm your number one fan, I will always be here for you." He kisses my cheek.
I lift my head to look at him in the eyes, and the genuine look in his eyes send a wave of happiness through me.
"I love you." I mutter.
He looks shocked for like point two seconds then smashes his lips against mine.
A sigh of contentment slips through my lips.
I haven't felt this happy in a long time, I almost feel guilty, but Atlas's tongue brushing against my lips distracts me of that.
I do completely and wholeheartedly love him.
****
Hey, hi, hello.
How are you?
I'm great thanks for asking.
I'm actually so glad I've been able to write this chap it took me a while but here we are.
Hope you enjoyed it <333
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