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12 - Alone Time

We enter an inn close to the lake which looks quite deserted but doable. I don't know why, but Xiongzhang thought it was be a good idea to put Wei Ying and me in the same suite. Following my footsteps Wei Ying complains to the inn keeper about how unclean this room is.

"We apologise Young Masters, but because of the lake eating people here we are unable to hire any staff and receive no tourists either."

Lake eating monster?

At the same time, I can see Wei's gaze on mine having the same question. The inn keeper left them alone. I sat at the table as i took out a handkerchief to wipe it down. Wuxian sat across from me.

"How are you feeling?" Wei Ying asked him, referring to his panic attack from earlier.

"Better," I answered, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked, "some thing just happen beyond our control...plus we are finding out our feelings for one another. We don't have to suppress them between each other anymore and we can talk about it openly."

I nodded, "I suppose...but I've known to be a cut-sleeve for a long time now...but my heart only answered to you."

"How long have you known?" He asked.

"I was very young, but I met a boy back when I was around six," I answered, "he was an orphan living on the streets. I saw him playing with some straw dolls alone so I bought a steamed bun and a toy for him. It was a small interaction but I knew back then I was different. I had some sort of idea that I was into the same gender, I just hid it out of fear."

That was the most I've spoken in one sitting. Wei Ying was staring at me with wide eyes. It was like he knew I was talking about him. I knew it was him but I don't know if he knew if it was me back then.

"That was you?" Wei Ying asked fondly, "I never stopped thinking about that day. I thought it was an angel sent to me for a moment."

I felt my ears heat from the comment of him referring me to an angel, "angel?"

"Hey, I was a child, and a boy wearing pristine white robes basically looked angelic."

Wei Ying suddenly moved his sword that was resting on his lap and propped it against the table. From where I was sitting, the sword had such a strong spirit to it. A spiritual sword usually only answers to its owner, just like Bichen with me. Bichen is a spiritual sword, so only I can wield him and unsheathe him from its sheathe.

Looking at the sword it had a rustic look to it, wooden sheathe and halt (handle). There were intricate golden swirls and ornamental designs around the opening of the sheathe and the handle of the sword. A red tassel hangs from the sheathe with a carve lotus made of white jade. I saw two characters written on the sheathe...'Suibian.' (whatever). The name confused me a little bit so I had to asked.

"Why did you name your sword Suibian?" I asked.

Wei Ying chuckled looking at his sword, "oh, there isn't really any meaning behind it, it is just that when Uncle Jiang first gave me the sword he asked me to pick a name for it. I thought of at least twenty different names but none of them seemed to really stick out. So I said to him Suibian (whatever). Thinking back about it, it's not really all that bad,"

"So it's like a hidden joke in a way?" I asked, "I can trip up someone whenever someone asks?"

"If they don't spot the engravings first like you did, then yes," he said, "what about you? Why Bichen for a name?"

"It means to avoid worldly matters or to avoid dust. Bichen is a sword that the GusuLan sect founder, Lan An, created," I told him.

"Can you tell me more about that? It sounds interesting?" He asked.

I smiled with a single nod, "The Sect founder, Lan An, created an unnamed and unclaimed sword. It was said he created it to match the most pure cultivator. The sword is very spiritual and has been picky to who could wield him. The sword consists of pure Yang Energy. So the owner as well, has to have pure Yang Energy. I was the youngest person of my sect's history to be given a sword. Most disciples get theirs at fourteen to sixteen, I was twelve. The sword chose me for a reason, and I have since then, had such a high respect for him."

"That's cool...but isn't GusuLan all based on Pure Yang Energy?" He asked.

"Everyone is born with both yin and Yang energy, their own balance of it. They say the one white all Yang Energy is a special cultivator and are extremely rare to find. I haven't found another cultivator who has only Yang Energy," I explained.

"How does one test the levels of the energy?" Wei Ying asked.

"Our sect has ways of checking using a crystal ball. Another is to just run some spiritual energy through another's passage ways and checking their Qi and energy levels," I answered.

"It is curious," He said, "I know it sounds...a bit nonsense, is it wrong of me to be curious about resentful energy and how it works?"

That came out of nowhere, I tried to respond back to him and calmly explain but I don't think I was calm enough as it sounded almost as if I was berating him for even say something like that, "resentful energy has a way of harming one's golden core, physical health, and mental health. Though it is said to be a powerful source of energy it is dangerous to use...most would say, unorthodox."

He nodded, "I'm sorry, I just," he seem like he has something on his mind, "I have been trying to be careful, but I have been affected by it once or twice...I noticed it feeds on trauma and emotions. I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to be affected by it or control it, but it allows me to do so. And it scares me a little...that's why I asked. I didn't mean to upset you in anyway."

My felt a pin prick at an old wound on my heart and it kind of hurt. Hearing me say this, he was more than likely asking for help or guidance, I shouldn't scold him. That wasn't my intention in the first place.

"I didn't mean to make it sound like I was scolding you, I was just trying to calmly explain what the energy is known for doing to cultivators. My sect has a technique that no-one else follows, and that is music cultivation. We use our spiritual energy to play the guqin either as a weapon, or a tool for guidance...

"...There is a selection of music known to me Songs of Clarity, such as Tranquility and Cleansing. Once can help calm the mind while the other help cleanses the body of resentment and negative energy," I explained, "I am more than willing to help you and guide you through this with the best of my abilities. I am not going to judge you for something like this. I am not someone who would judge a person, especially you, who, if you remember, you are someone of desirable interest to me."

I saw Wei Ying's lips curve into a small smile after hearing me say desirable interest. I wasn't expecting to say such a thing, out loud anyway, but it just slipped out.

I cleared my throat, "Mnn, I'd like to meditate for a bit if that's alright."

"Of course, I was a getting a bit sleepy and wanted to rest for a bit. I don't want to sleep long though, an hour maybe...as I don't want to disrupt my sleep for tonight."

"I will wake you if you like," I told him.

"Thank you," he said and went to lay down on one of the beds.

To be more comfortable, I sat in lotus position on the other bed and meditated for a while to clear my head.