Forbidden Love

chapter 6

I stopped walking as I saw him, he was right there finally I see him again, he looked at me and our eyes met he he smiled and start to walk over to me, he stoped in front of me and said " Hello Hieren, wow you look breathtaking" I kept looking up at him and gulped "I- thank you y-you look great too" I smiled , why did I stutter!?, "Oh are you ok?" He asked worried and I smiled "oh yes don't worry" he nodded and smiled "alright then I'll go say hi to everyone and I'll see you around " I nodded and bowed "goodbye " I smiled before walking to my own chamber and going in, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how red I was "oh no! Was I this red when I was talking with him!? " I panicked and tried to calm down "stop you're being overdramatic " I calmed down and sat on bed " what is happening to me " I whispered before taking off my dress and putting on my night dress then taking off my flower crown and my neckles and laying down on bed and falling asleep.

The next day came and I did my usual morning routine and wove this dress

I just let my hair down and brushed it, I put crown on and walked out of my chamber and into Mihirmahs chamber since she is getting ready and I want to see "hello you look beautiful" I smiled as I rub her back, she didn't smiled back she just stared at me "I'm sad tho" "cmon it's your wedding day, you should he happy! " I smiled more " this is not a wedding day...this is funeral" I just looked at her "don't be like that...Rustem pasha is great man " she just rolled her eyes and then our mom came in and told me to leave so Mihirmah can get ready in peace I felt a bit offened but not as much. I decided to go to Mustafa chamber to see him so I walked to his chamber but stoped in front of the door cuz I suddenly got nervous, I quickly brushed it off and knocked on the door, I heard "come in " from the inside and walked in seeing Mustafa siting by the table and enjoying his breakfast, I smiled and bowed at him "hello Mustafa " he smiled at me " Hello Hieren, come sit and have breakfast with me " I nodded and sat down next to him and we started eating, I suddenly started feeling that weird feeling in my chest again I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, Mustafa looked at me weirdly but still worried "Hieren..?" I looked at him " hm?" " Are you ok?" I nodded and smiled" I'm fine, but ...there's something I need to tell you" wait what am I doing- I turned to him and took another deep breath "I.." he turned to me as well and waited for me to continue " I know my mother don't want us to be close but I really love you and I want to be with you as much as possible and all this time you were gone I always tought about you and I was worried cuz what if something happens and you know " he laughed softly before saying " I don't care what your mother says Hieren, she can't control you and me " I smiled as I looked at him, at his brown eyes I could stare at them for hours, when he looked at me my heart start beating so fast I can hear it idk what go into me but I took his hand, he looked at me confused and I placed his hand on my heart area "do you feel that?" I smiled "my heart...it's beating just for you" I whispered and mentally slapped myself WHY WOULD I SAY THAT, I gulped as I realized what I just did I quickly put his hand back "i-im so sorry ill go " I got up and bowed "wait Hieren!" "I'm sorry " I rushed out if the room while crying , I rushed in my chamber and locked the door "what did I just did " I whispered to myself and started crying more "I'm so dump" I sat on my bed and hugged my knees, after some time I put myself together , fixed my make up and hair after wiping my tears, after that I went to the stone room since wedding is starting soon.

The whole wedding I just looked at Mihirmah and her expression, she was so sad...she was crying the whole time, aunt and Mahidevran were gossiping about my mother and my mother was looking proud and happy at Mihirmah. After the wedding was over Mihirmah and Rustem went to their castle..poor Mihirmah she had to lose her innocence to somone so older than her...I didn't saw Mustafa after what happened, I think it's good if we both avoid each other he is leaving tomorrow anyways.  I lay in my bed and fall asleep, the next day we all went to the garden since Mahidevran and Mustafa we're leaving, the whole time I didn't dare to make eye contact with him...I was too embarrassed, Mahidevran came up to me and hugged me "visit us sometimes " she smiled "I will" I smiled back before Mustafa came over to me and gave me a hug I was shooked but I gently wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly I felt him giving me a small kiss on my shoulder and it gave me butterflies I blinked few times since I was confused but then we separated and I looked down "goodbye mustafa " I whispered before looking up at him and smiling , he smiled Back "goodbye Hieren " he gently placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead before he sat in carriage with Mahidevran and left.

After that I went to my chamber still not believe on what happened I sat on the chair near my bed playing the moments over and over again in my head, His fingers heel like cotton, his kiss is is so soft, he smells incredible, wait ....am I falling for him?..no..no! That can't be! I quickly stoped thinking about the hug and drink some water.

Months have passed since the wedding and since I saw Mustafa..Mihirmah gave birth to a baby and she invited us over to her castle to see the baby, we all got ready and visited her. I was so happy to see her again! Our dad named the baby Hannan and we all hang out together for a bit then we went home, not so long After Mustafas son was born and he invited us to Edire to see. I didn't know how to feel...should I be happy? I'm kind off hurt if I'm being honest but I can't show it.