What's Next? || Ant x Stephen

Flashback - Chapter Five

It was 7:45am, on a Monday morning, and Stephen was 14 years old. He was in his room putting his school uniform on, ready for his first day of year 9. He stood in front of his mirror as he was doing the buttons on his shirt up, when he paused for a moment, just staring at himself, dreading school.

School for Stephen isn't the easiest. He used to be known as the nerdy magician who had little, to no friends, in school. That was until towards the end of the summer holidays. When a group of kids in his year, found out he was gay, he didn't know how they found out, I mean not even his parents knew. He was dreading going into school, he knew that the kids would have something to say, and it wasn't going to be nice, and it's not like he could talk to his parents about it, they had no clue he was gay, neither did his siblings, he just had to suck it up. 

He knew, that now, he wouldn't just be known as the 'nerdy magician kid,' now he'd be known as either 'the gay kid' or 'the gay nerd' there were so many nicknames he could think of in his head that these kids could call him now, some more hurtful than others, but all pretty painful. He never used to mind school, don't get me wrong, it's never been easy, and even though he was never really one of those kids with a massive friendship group. He liked being on his own, he was quite a shy person, and it meant that no one really noticed him, which meant he could just get on with his day and no one would say anyone. He would always go to the library to eat lunch and he'd read a book or practice his magic and he always sat in the corner at the back of the class so he wouldn't really get picked on by teachers to answer questions. His work was always pretty good, he would turn his homework in on time, so teachers never had a problem with him, but now, he wasn't just the quiet kid, he was the gay kid that had no friends.

He finally snapped out of his thoughts and started doing his tie up, he had thought about faking being sick to stay off, but it was the first day he couldn't do that, he'd fall behind almost immediately, and that's never a good thing. Just as he finished doing his tie, his sister, Susie, walked into his room. "Hey Stephen?" She asked, as Stephen swiftly turned round to face her. "Yeah?" He asked as he tightened his tie. "Have you seen-" She started, she stopped when she noticed Stephen's face. Stephen's always been pretty close with his sister, they would talk about everything. Other than his parents, his sister was the next person he was scared to tell he was gay, he didn't want to lose her. "What's wrong?" Susie asked, concerned. Stephen looked up almost immediately, he knew he wasn't great at hiding when he was down or when something was on his mind from Susie, but he really wanted to hide this. 

"Don't act all oblivious, what's wrong?" Susie asked again, Stephen looked down to the floor, sighed and walked backwards to sit on his bed. Susie just looked at him concerned when she followed and sat beside him. "I don't want to go to school..." Stephen started "but I thought you liked school?" Susie asked, as Stephen looked down to the floor and then back up to his sister. "I did...I do- It's just a few kids in school found out that-" He almost said it, so close, but he stopped himself, he was so scared to tell her. He cares about her so much, I mean she's his sister of course he cares about her. "Stephen...?" She asked, getting more and more worried as time went on. "What's going on?" Stephen let out a sigh, he could feel his chest getting tight and his hands Shakey. He took in a deep breath "There's something I need to tell you" Susie looked at Stephen with a confused expression on her face. "What is it?" She asked. He took a deep breath in and turned to face Susie "Okay, um...It's just- Well, I mean..." Stephen started rambling not sure how to say it, he always thought when it came down to it all he would have to say was 'I am gay' that it would be that easy, turns out he was completely wrong.

"Stephen..." Susie said worriedly "You can tell me anything, you know that right?" Stephen looked away for a moment, trying to get his breathing under control, he took a couple deep breaths and then turned back to his sister. "Okay, here it goes." Stephen said as he huffed out a laugh "It's just that I'm..." He paused for a moment before finishing his sentence "I'm...Gay" as he said it, he closed his eyes, he didn't want to see the expression on her face, he was scared that she was going to be angry or disappointed and he couldn't stand losing that relationship he had with his sister. No one said anything for a minute, then all he felt was two arms thrown around him. "Aw Stephen!" She said hugging him so tight, Stephen didn't say anything, he didn't move, he was just frozen in his spot, he slowly moved his arms up and wrapped them around Susie. He let out a sigh of relief and melted into the hug. "Y-You're not mad?" Stephen stuttered "Of course I'm not, why would I be mad?" Susie asked, laughing slightly "I- I don't know..." Stephen said as he huffed out a laugh. 

"So why are you so nervous to go into school?" Susie asked, Stephen let out a sigh "A group of kids...found out, I don't know how but- I know they aren't just going to forget about it" Stephen started sounding really nervously "you never know they might..." Susie said trying to comfort her younger brother, "No, they won't. I know these kids; I've been in the same class as them since I was 11. They aren't going to just forget about this" Stephen said sounding rather nervously "They aren't going to just ignore me now. From now on I'm going to be known as 'the gay kid' and I can't deal with that right now." They were both still in a hug, and Stephen was starting to feel a little better, getting this all of his chest. Knowing he had someone to talk to, when he was down or when hiding his sexuality was getting too much for his Anxiety and he trusted his sister with his life.   

Coming out to Susie lifted this giant weight off of his shoulders, like he could finally breath, but he was so nervous about telling her, he lost track of time. He and his sister were still in the midst of a hug when their mother shouted up the stairs. "Stephen, you're going to miss your bus!" As he heard his mother he jumped up and started stressing and rushing about "Stephen" Susie said trying to get his attention, he had practically blocked everyone out, trying to get all his things so he didn't miss his bus. "Stephen!" She repeated, this time grabbing Stephen by his shoulders "calm down, you'll be fine" Susie kept trying to calm Stephen down, he didn't want to go into school, but he knew he had too.

Stephen finally left the house, and ran down to the bus stop, he got there just in time so that he didn't miss the bus. He got on and sat in the front corner and hoped for the best. He got 5 minutes into the drive when this kid, Oliver, came over and sat down next to Stephen, who was just looking out the window. "Hey Stevie-boy" he said, making Stephen jump. "Hey...Oliver" Stephen said nervously. "Soo...?" Oliver said, Stephen tried to ignore him at first, but he kept pushing. "Aw come on Stephen don't ignore me!" He said mockingly, Stephen let out a sigh "What?" He just wanted this kid to go away, he wanted to be the quiet kid again that no one noticed, and he knew that was gone the moment Oliver came and sat down next to him. "How's your summer been?" Oliver asked, still in a slight teasing tone. "What do you want Oliver?" Stephen said, he'd had enough of him, almost, tiptoeing around what he clearly wanted to talk about.

"Calm down Stevie-" Oliver started when Stephen interrupted him "Stephen." He said, "My name is Stephen, not Stevie!" He hated people calling him 'Stevie' his name was Stephen not Stevie, this didn't change, at least not until he met a certain Geordie duo. Oliver rolled his eyes. "Sorry" before Oliver could continue talking, they arrived at school. Stephen grabbed his bag and practically ran into the building. 

He ran to his locker first hoping to put his stuff in there before anyone could say anything or do anything to him. He opened his locker, put his books in. As he shut his locker and turn around, he started to make his way to his form room, he walked ahead and kept his head down hoping for no one to notice him. As he walked down the hall, he almost got to his classroom, when one of the kids walking the opposite way to him, barged into him, making him fall to the floor and drop his books. 

As he grabbed all his books and started to get up when one of the guys kicked his books away again. "This is going to be a long year for you" One of the guys said, "Definitely won't be 'straight' forward" one of the other lads in the group said, emphasizing the word 'Straight' as the group walked away. Stephen picked his books up again, stood up, wiped the dust off of his uniform and just carried on walking to his classroom, ignoring all the kids in the hall staring at him.