What's Next? || Ant x Stephen

The Aftermath - Chapter Ten

Ant and Stephen have been out for less than a week, and they've already had 6 different chat show's asking them to do interviews. They knew it would be a big deal when they came out but not this big of a deal. 

It's not like their any different to before they came out, they're still the same people. How many questions can people have about this one subject, most people have the same questions, so with all the different interviews they are being asked to do, they're just going to end up answering the same questions over and over again. 

At first, they thought it would be easier to stay at their own houses and not stay over each other's houses, but it got too much for them. The paparazzi at their houses, the crowds coming over to them whenever they were in public, it was a lot harder when they were on their own, even though it's part of their job, it doesn't make it any easier, it can be very overwhelming sometimes.  

Eventually, they decided that they would choose one of their houses and stay there, they wouldn't swap every so often, and this was only until the public calmed down about the situation, until they stopped getting ambushed in the streets by paparazzi and by fans, they didn't mind when fans came up to them usually but when they always ask about their relationship or when they say 'I had no clue you were gay' it's a bit stressful. They knew that it wouldn't stop the paparazzi, they would just lead them to stay outside Stephen's house waiting for them to leave and waiting for them to get home, but it was the best idea they had at this time, and they didn't want these people to ruin their time together, they wanted to hang out and be with each other and the paparazzi wasn't going to stop them, but they are still a bit awkward in public, their so used to hiding and pretending to just be friends, they weren't used to being able to be an actual couple in public and not be worried people are going to find out about their 'secret.' They were just hoping that wouldn't take too long for everyone to just leave them alone.

They talked about it for a moment, and they decided that they would stay at Stephen's place. It would keep the paparazzi out of Ant's street, meaning Dec wouldn't have to worry about his daughter. He had spent so much time and effort trying to keep her out of the limelight and out of the public eye, trying to hide her from social media, he had done so well, Ant didn't want to ruin that because of his relationship, he wanted to keep the paparazzi out of his street as much as he possibly could, to help Dec.

Even though Ant and Stephen have had a lot of support since coming out, they've also had a lot of hate because of it. They've had some... Not so supportive people, to put it a nice way. There's been people all over twitter, Instagram, every social media they're on, there have been people spreading hate and homophobia since that interview, and they've been trying to ignore it, trying to block out the hate, focus on all the positive messages they've had from their fans and their friends and their family.

But with twitter, it's hard to ignore every single hate comment they get. There were quite a lot of them. Both Ant and Stephen try to hide from each other that these comments are getting to them, and they both refuse to talk about it because they think they're over-reacting, even though they aren't, they have the right to feel how they feel when people are spreading all this hate about them just because of who they are and who they love. 

Ant and Stephen were sitting in the living room, watching TV and eating food, Ant was struggling to ignore all these comments, but he was having more trouble hiding how he was feeling from Stephen, and Stephen was starting to have trouble hiding the fact that what Michael said in the meeting, had really got to him. Those words really stuck with him, he kept thinking about what Michael said, maybe he was right. Maybe coming out was a mistake, I mean he couldn't do anything now, they've already done it, but he doesn't know whether or not he regrets it...

Ant was okay that they came out, he was proud, he didn't regret it at all, it's just hard opening twitter and seeing all the tweets about how his and Stephen's relationship is wrong, or their relationship is unnatural. He is incredibly proud of Stephen for going through with it, he knows how hard it's been for the younger man, he's seen first-hand the anxiety that has come with even the thought of coming out. 

"Stephen?" Ant asked, the younger man knew what ever Ant said next was going to be serious because he called him 'Stephen' instead of 'Stevie' and he had a feeling it would be about how the last 2 days have been. "Yeah?" The younger man replied smiling curiously. "Is it supposed to feel this...hard?" Ant asked, leaving the younger man a bit confused "Coming out" He explained further, as Stephen realised what he meant "I mean, all these tweets and comments. I know that I should try and focus on all the good messages and all the people who support us but..." Ant trailed off "It's hard not to notice the hate?" Stephen replied finishing his sentence "Yeah..." Ant sighed. 

He wasn't going to bring this up, but then he thought 'What if Stephen feels the same' and ended up talking about it, before he even realised, he was going to, but he needed to get it off his chest, it was killing him. 

Stephen took a deep breath before speaking "I don't know...honestly, but I mean, we both knew we weren't going to come out and have everyone accept us." Stephen started "I wish we could, it would be so much easier" Stephen laughed, trying to cheer Ant up, Stephen sat up straight and turned to face the older man properly. "Honestly Anth, I don't know if it's supposed to be this hard... and I know it's hard to not see the hate comments but, I guess we've just got to try and... ignore them?" Stephen explained a bit further, he knew that the advice he was giving Ant right now was practically useless, if someone said 'just ignore them' to him he would be quite annoyed, but he doesn't know what else he can say, or how he can help Ant because he honestly doesn't know if it's supposed to be this hard, because he feels the same way. It's a complicated situation to be honest, I mean not in a million years did Stephen think he'd even come out to Ant and Dec let alone in the public, so he doesn't know how to feel right now. 

Right now, Stephen was trying to decide whether to bring up what Michael said, or just keep it to himself. Stephen is very good at keeping his feelings to himself, he's good at burying his feelings, he's been doing it since he was 13 years old. He has this thing where he thinks his problems are his to deal with and that no one else needs to know. He thinks that he should be able to deal with his problems on his own, he shouldn't need help, he's an adult, he should be able to deal with this on his own. He doesn't want people to worry about him too much! He thinks that he's just getting on people's nerves, and he doesn't want to annoy anyone, especially Ant. 

"Ant?" He started, he thought over whether he should actually say it or not. "Um..." Ant could tell by now that there was something on the younger man's mind, that he wanted to say but he couldn't for some reason. Ant knew not to push Stephen too much, that wouldn't get them anywhere, it would just make Stephen feel a lot more anxious and a lot more reluctant to share, and sometimes just makes Stephen feel like shit for not opening up sooner. "You- um..." He almost said it, he was so close to saying it "Do you... want a drink?" He said, as he looked to the floor, Ant felt so bad for Stephen, he wanted to help him, but he didn't know how he could help him when he didn't know what was wrong, and it killed him, he hated seeing Stephen like this, he hated not being able to help him and comfort him. 

He didn't say anything though, he just smiled at Stephen, nodded and said "Yeah, if you're making one" Stephen asked "Tea?" Ant nodded at Stephen as he walked into the kitchen. 

As Stephen walked into the kitchen, he put the mugs down and leant on the kitchen island. He was beating himself up inside, he was so close, he needs to tell someone, he needs to get it off his chest. He just doesn't know how to.

He just doesn't want to push Ant away.