What's Next? || Ant x Stephen

Are We Ready? - Chapter Four

They were back filming for BGMT today, and Ant and Stephen only got back together last night and neither of them had told anyone, not even Dec. They hadn't told Dec yet, not because they were scared to, but because they didn't know how to, they didn't know how to tell him. Which didn't happen very often. They had spent the night messaging each other; they stayed up till 2 in the morning talking, they didn't talk about much to be honest, that was until a certain subject got thrown into the conversation. 

They woke up the next morning around 7am, ready to head into work and film the auditions. Ant and Dec made their way over together, they got there first, and Stephen arrived a few minutes later. He messaged Ant once he got there and asked whether he was in his dressing room, Ant only took a few seconds to reply, letting the younger man he was in his dressing room. As Stephen walked through the doors of the theatre, he walked straight to Ant and Dec's dressing room. 

It was a quick walk to their dressing room, as soon as he got there, he knocked the door and waited for someone to answer, when he heard a set of footsteps coming, and next thing he knew Dec answered the door. "Stephen..." He said, unsure of why the younger man was here. "Hey Dec!" He said, very smiley, Dec instantly noticed how much happier he was than yesterday. "You seem happy...?" Dec said, half asking, hoping to get an explanation, though Stephen didn't give one, when Ant walked into the room, he called over to Stephen, which made the younger man walk into the room and walk over, as Ant pulled him into a hug. "Well, that would be why" Dec said smirking, he knew exactly what had happened the moment Ant pulled Stephen into a hug. When they pulled away from the hug, they remained standing in each other's personal space, Stephen's arm was wrapped around Ant's waist and, like wise with Ant's arm. 

"So, I'm assuming this happened last night?" Dec asked as both men nodded for their answer. "We wanted your opinion on something..." Ant started "last night me and Stephen were talking and well the topic of...coming out, came up, we think maybe we are ready to, but we want your opinion on it" Ant finished as Dec gave both of them a proud smirk. "To the public?" He asked, just for clarification, as the two boys nodded their heads. He's been waiting for the day these two were ready to come out and be themselves. He'd been waiting almost a year, but he wasn't sure why they were asking for his opinion. "Why do you need my opinion on the matter? This is between you two" Dec asked curiously, Ant let out a sigh, he wasn't sure how to word his reply. "Well, this could affect all of us" Stephen started, he was still met with a confused expression from Dec "If there's backlash on Ant, there's going to be backlash on you" He explained further, as Dec finally got what he was saying. "Oh, don't be silly, if you two are ready then I say...Go for it!" Dec said rather excitedly. "You two deserve to be happy and able to be a couple, not just in your houses but in public too!" Dec finished, trying to show his support for the boys in any way he could, which did make them smile knowing that they could always look to Dec if they needed support or advice. 

They finally finished their day and were able to go home. They were staying at Stephen's tonight, like usually would, but it felt weird. They had spent the last month not seeing each other, not staying over the other's house and now they were heading back to Stephen's. They didn't talk about much in the car other than whether or not they were ready to come out publicly. 

For Ant, accepting his sexuality was a lot easier than it was for Stephen, he was a lot faster with coming out to people, like his family, than Stephen. It's been a lot harder for him to take those steps, because of events that have happened in the past. Ant does worry about what people think, that comes with their job, but not as much as Stephen, so even just coming out to him and Dec, he was proud of him for, or coming out to the people they work with. So actually, telling the public, taking this big step, he's massively proud of him for even considering it, for even thinking about doing it, and if it comes down to him realising, he's still not 100% ready then Ant will still be proud of him, and if Stephen is ready and they do come out publicly then he will be proud of him. No matter what happens he will always be proud of him. 

They finally got home, and even though they were working quite late, by the time they got home it was only 10:22pm. So, they didn't go straight to bed, they stayed up a bit longer, and since it was late, neither of them wanted to cook so they just order in. They were only planning on staying up for, at the latest, an hour. They ended up staying up till around 1 in the morning just talking about coming out publicly, usually they wouldn't spend as much time as they have talking about this, but it's quite a big step for these guys, it's such an important step, that could change their lives and their careers, they want to make sure their 110% ready! 

They went over some of the same points they've already gone over, some new points, some Pros and cons about it, how it could affect their careers and their personal lives. Stephen seemed a lot more confident about coming out than Ant expected him too, and he was really glad about it, he was so proud of how far the younger man had come, in the last year and a half, and Stephen was just as proud of Ant for how far he's come in the last year and a half, he's handled coming to terms with his sexuality amazingly well, Stephen didn't know what he was expecting from Ant, but he was so proud of him.

"I just don't want to ruin yours and Dec's career" Stephen said to Ant in a concerned tone "Stephen, this isn't going to just affect mine and Dec's career, it could affect yours as well" Ant replied, even though Stephen was worried about how this could affect his career, he seemed more concerned about Ant and Dec's career. "I know that, but...you and Dec have worked so hard to get where you are and-" Stephen started "What and you haven't?" Ant interrupted, Ant was just as worried for Stephen's career as he was his own, he just couldn't see why Stephen didn't seem to care. "That's not what I meant, I just..." Stephen started "I just don't want this to mess up your career" He said, as Ant gave him a confused look "Stephen, how this affects your career is just as important as how it affects mine and Dec's?" Ant said half asking, he was so confused right now "I know..." Stephen started "Stephen? Are you ready to come out?" Ant asked the younger man, as Stephen let out a lobsided smile "Yeah...I think I am. Are you?" Stephen replied, Ant looked the younger man in the eye and grabbed his hand "Yeah, I want the whole world to know that your mine!" He let out a smile, as he pulled Stephen into a hug. "Are we actually going to do this?" Ant asked, as Stephen huffed out a laugh "I think we are, yeah." 

This was a moment in Stephen's life he never thought he would get to, he never thought he'd get to a point in his life where he accepted himself enough to come out to, practically the whole of the Uk. When he first started in kids TV, he never thought that coming out to the public was an option, he always thought he would keep it quiet, even if it meant maybe being in unconventional 'straight relationships' at that moment in time, he didn't care, no matter how much it affected his mental health, he was young and all he wanted was to get his career started, he would think about the rest of it later. Then he met Ant and Dec, and they helped him getting his career started and when he actually got his career started, he thought that if he came out now, then that would ruin it.

Then after a few years he just decided to ditch the idea of ever coming out publicly, he thought if he did it, all the years of hard work on his career would go down the drain, because even though times are supposed to be 'more accepting' not everyone is, not everyone does accept the LGBTQ+ community, Stephen knew he would still get hate for coming out, or for just being gay, and these thoughts took over his head, they would just live in his mind 24/7, all he could think about, whenever his brain thought about coming out, was the consequences, all the reasons he shouldn't come out. 

But now, in 2017, he was actually about to do it. With the love of his life, the person he never thought he actually get to be with, and he felt...confident, he's never been surer of anything before, he wanted to come out, he wanted the public to know who he really was, and that he and Ant were together and happy. 

Accepting his sexuality has never been easy for Stephen, even before he came out to his parents, he was sort of out to a few kids in his school, and they didn't take it very well either, he was bullied for a couple of years, from year 9 to year 11, but he didn't exactly come out it sort of got found out. He was a bit surprised he was able to keep it a secret from the public for so long, but he didn't want to know, he might not fully accept this part of him yet, but he accepts it enough to let people know, and he was so proud of himself for it.