What's Next? || Ant x Stephen

Finally asking - Chapter Twenty-Five

Finally. Christmas Eve, Ant's favourite time of the year. What's not to like, only one more sleep till Christmas, families were together, and with Ant's family, they'd get a takeaway in the evening, watch a Christmas movie and open one present each. Although this year Stephen was a bit tense, it's only been two days since they went to his family's for a, sort of, early Christmas and when he and his dad got into that argument, Ant's problem was he didn't know what to do to help the younger man, he didn't know how to make him feel better. He wanted to, he wanted to help him, so badly, but he just didn't know how he was supposed to do that...

They drove down to Newcastle today, and didn't get there till late, it was about 10:20pm when they arrived. The entire drive down to Newcastle Stephen was quiet, other than when Ant's mum called to make sure the pair were okay, and on their way down, Stephen said hi, and then went back to being quiet. He had put his earphones in and just stared out the window, and did fall asleep for a while as well, which the younger man did need. He thinks he's been hiding it from Ant but he hasn't been sleeping for a while. He was glad that he finally fell asleep.

He was sleeping for the final 2, maybe 3, hours out of the 5 hour drive. The argument he had with his dad really took a tow on Stephen's mental health, he's always thought that his dad was the only one who understood him in his family, and that he would never do anything like forcing him to talk to his brother, who has never really accepted him.

As they find me arrived at Ant's mother's house, Ant parked the car, and carefully shook Stephen to wake him up. He pointed outside to let him know that they were here, Stephen unbuckled himself and just before he got out of the car Ant grabbed his arm, to talk to him.

"Yeah?" Stephen said. Over the last year or so, he could tell that Ant has been worried about him, but these last few days he's been... weird, how? He doesn't know, he can't quite place his finger on it. It's like he's waiting for the younger man to break down, and to be honest, he's not far off. There is so much going on in his head right now and he doesn't really know how to deal with it on his own, but he doesn't want to be a burden with Ant. He's got stuff going on himself, he's working through things too. Stephen doesn't want to put anymore stress on Ant than needed to.

Ant sighed slightly, before asking Stephen, he knew that he probably wouldn't get a straight forward, honest answer. Because it's Christmas and Stephens going to be thinking that he will ruin Christmas is he does but Ant's got to at least try. He's been keeping this to himself since Lisa told him at the dinner party and if he doesn't ask him soon then he's just going to panic about whether Stephen is safe in work. "Before we go in, I have to ask you something." Ant started, as he turned the car off.

Stephen looked confused and curious at the same time. "Remember when we went to that diner party over Dec's" Ant asked as Stephen huffed out a laugh. "A bit yeah" remember that he may of gotten a bit tipsy that night, Ant nodded at laughed along, Stephen could tell that whatever Ant wanted to talk about was serious because whatever it was, he was clearly nervous to bring it up. "Lisa told me something"

Stephen was even more confused now, and it didn't help he was tired. He gave Ant a questioning look, he genuinely couldn't think what Lisa had told Ant that would leave him this worried. Ant took a deep breath In and continued to tell Stephen. "Okay... was Michael being fair... in work?" Ant could see Stephens face fall, when he mentioned Michael. "Only because Lisa mentioned to me on the first day that Michael seemed to be very... up in your face when she came to get you for make-up"

Stephen instantly looked to the floor, giving Ant his answer. Which did make Ant feel kind of sad, he didn't understand why Stephen didn't come to him about it, they could've sorted it out. He shouldn't be treated differently to everyone else just because he's gay.

"You know about that..?" Stephen mumbled, he'd tried to forget about that, he didn't want to tell Ant about it because Stephens seen how worried Ant has been about him for the last 6 months, it's been a lot more difficult for Ant to hide his worries. He didn't want to add to that list. "Stevie, why didn't you tell me? We could've done something about it, about him" Ant asked "did you not think you could come to be about it?"

Stephen sighed to himself, he knew that he could've gone to Ant about it, and he wanted to, he really did, but he didn't want to burden Ant anymore.

"Because Anth..." Stephen started louder than he wanted to "I've seen you over the last 6 months" he finished back in his normal volume. Ant was slightly taken aback from Stephens raise in volume, and confused what he meant 'the last 6 months'

"Your constantly worried about me, as if I'm about to breakdown over something, and I thought that telling you about Michael would make you worry even more and I don't want that. I don't want you to worry about me" Stephen ranted "I know that i'm making life a lot more difficult than it needs to be, and truth be told I don't fully understand why your still with me..." he trailed off towards the end of the sentence, he'd had a few thoughts like 'why does he love' and 'why is he still with me' and he can't stop those thoughts when they start it just turns into 'does he still love me.'

Stephen has been feeling slightly... insecure about his relationship with Ant recently. Thinking that the older man, one day, will loose his patience with Stephen and just end it, there and then. He doesn't want too... he can't loose Ant. He's the only person who can bring Stephen back to the real world, or calm him down, when needed. Without Ant he won't survive.

Ant was quiet for a moment, in disbelief that Stephen even has to wonder why Ant is with him. Also that Stephen thought he couldn't come to him, or that he'd been so... obvious in his anxiety's about Stephen, especially about work. He had no idea which comment to reply to first. He just watched the tears form in the younger man's eyes, and as one fell down his face.

"Stephen." Ant said, making the taller man look over at him, he knows Ant is being serious and genuine when he says 'Stephen' instead of 'Stevie.' Ant looked at Stephen with a loving look in his eyes, he took a deep breath in and said "I am always going to worry about you, your my boyfriend, it's my job" Stephen let out a lob sided smile, making Ant laugh slightly before he continued. "And the other thing, the reason I'm with you, it's because I love you. Okay, I have never felt about anyone, the way I feel about you and nothing will change it."

Stephen gave Ant a small smile, he did believe him, it's just that sometimes it's hard to not think that maybe Ant will end up loosing his patience with Stephen at some point.

Ant leant in and gave Stephen a hug and smoothed his hand up and down Stephens back, to try and comfort him, to remind him that he was always going to be there for him.

"Come on, my mam will be worrying if we don't go in soon" the older man joked, as Stephen nodded into Ant's shoulder, as Stephen pulled a way from the hug, Ant gave him a quick kiss and they got out of the car and went into Ant's mums house.

Whether Ant or Stephen wanted to admit it, things were awkward between them, or things were going to be awkward. Stephen had tried for months to keep Ant out of the 'Michael situation'... whatever the situation was.