Have it all // Dallas Winston

08 | Me Against Everybody

A year Six months later, January 16th 1988
Dallas Winston

It's been a year. I haven't lost hope.

Everyone else has.

I'm starring in a movie. Drugstore Cowboy. Q said I should do it. So that's why I did it. We're filming the last scene right now. I can't get her off my mind. It's driving me insane. Literally. I can't get her off my mind.

I've made money off this film. Lots of it. I have to act all happy and non-worrying on set. It in reality I want to cry and scream and yell about how she's not here by my side like I want her to be. I don't know where she's at. I don't know if she's alive.

We finished the last scene and I left early. I don't want to be around any of my go workers right now. I just want to be with people I actually like. I want to be around Q but I can't. I can be around the gang, that's as close as I'll get.

I walked through the door, and was met with a "hey Dal, how's it goin'?" I can't tell them the truth. To be honest, it's shit. Everything is shit. Everything is going wrong. I want to blow my fucking brains out but I can't. I can't say that. I can't tell them the truth. "It's goin' good, how about you?"

I sat down at the couch by my sister with a beer in my hand. I've also taken up alcohal lately. It's starting to piss me off. "Any news?" Darry asked. When he asks that question every week when I come here, I want to rip his fucking head off. He knows there's no news. I just shake my head in response. He nodded and gets up.

"Where's Johnny?" I asked, the door opened. Speak of the devil. He walked in, hand in hand with the redhead. They're enagaged now. Can you believe it? Little Johnnycakes engaged? I can't either.

They said they want to wait to have a full on wedding, because of money reasons. But that's a lie. They have enough money. They're soc rich now. What they're waiting on is Quincey Bradshaw. They're waiting on her to come back. That's the real reason.

Darry and Andromeda are Married. It's funny to say. Darry asked his two brothers to be his grooms men and Andromeda asked Ginny and Renae. She would've asked Q if she was here but she's not. She may never be.

Don't fucking think like that.

I dismissed myself with the excuse of having work in the morning. They all understood, all of them except Johnny. Johnny followed me all the way to my house. I have a house now. Paid in full cash. It's a two bedroom and two bathroom house. Now much, but it's better than a bedroom in a bar.

"Dally." He yelled as I put my key into the door and turned the knob. I ignored his calls and walked inside, finsihed off the second beer of the night. I won't drink anymore tonight. Two is my limit.

"Dallas fucking Winston." He walked into my house with his shoes on, leaving footprints on my floor. "Take your shoes off, you're messin' up the damn floor." I threw a dishrag down and wiped off the mud while he took his shoes off.

"Fuck the floor, Dallas." He told me as he followed me to the kitchen for food. "What's been up with you?" He asked, I rolled my eyes and laughed. "If this is about Quinn, you gotta let her go Dally you gotta. She's gone. She ain't comin' back." That's when I snapped.

I punched him across the face, grabbing his leather jacket and pulling him close to me. "You're cant say that." He could smell the alcohal on my breath as I relaxed him from my grip. "Dally you got to get ahold of yourself. Maybe she came back, just not to Tulsa." Was he right?

"Why would she do that?" I asked, opening the refrigerator and grabbing two bologna slices and hot chese from the fridge, then grabbing four prices of bread from the cabinet.

"Dally," Johnny said softer as he walked in behind me. I started cutting up the cheese into slices while the meat was in the microwave. "You have to let her go. You can't cry over her forever." He said, I rolled my eyes. "I can do whatever I want. Don't you forget it." I assembled my sandwich and walked to the living room with a coke.

"We all loved her Dal, but you don't see us in a bad mood all the time." He sat down in the couch and looked at me. "You don't love her like I do." He sighed and sat back on the couch. "You're right Dally, we didn't love her romantically, she was like another Soda in the gang." He explained. I rolled my eyes.

"Johnny, get out of my house." I turned on the television. "Dal," he started. "Johnny, please get out." He nodded and put his shoes back on. He was about to leave when he turned around. "Dally, if you need to talk to anyone. You know where Ginny and I live." Then be walked out the door.

I stared at the televion screen, just thinking. My eyes saw what was going on but I wasn't watching the film. All I could think of is what he said. Did she not want to be with me? Was I a bad person? Am I a bad person? God this was making me mad.

The tears pricked my eyes almost immeaditly after Johnny left. No one would see me cry if I did I right now. The tears fell from both eyes at the same time. I just want her to come back. She needs to come back. I need her