My Dearest Girl

A Home for Mattie

A/N: ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️**usual warnings of spicy content and brief talk about past abuse and trauma. Read at your own risk please**⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Mattie POV:
I had told Gareth about the vacation home. Now that I wasn't in the Carver's care completely I did feel bad for going there. I knew it was mine, but it still belonged to them.

Thinking back to when my father had asked me to go there each summer since I started living with them, well it made me sad. I was well loved by Meredith, and to think I would have grown up alongside Eddie made me yearn for another chance at childhood.

Now, Rupert, he asked I stop calling him father, had given me the home, stating my grandmother wanted me to have it. In actuality the Carvers had asked me to stay there for the duration of the year. That I was to get a job or use the allowance they gave me for food. I had talked with Ellie and she was going to help me with groceries and meals. I didn't know how to cook and I wasn't sure I would be much good at it.

My allowance was small, but Rupert said once I graduated he would let me have my trust fund. I agreed, Gareth doesn't know any of this. And here he is, supporting me, loving me.. can I call this loving me.

I hope that is what this is.

From the first moment he told me that he liked me it was over for me. I never thought I would be with anyone, I have never seen or wanted another. I was scared of being hurt, not emotionally but physically by someone I loved. Rupert and Janet made that clear.

Jason... well he was a product of all that hate. I don't know if his version of love will ever be enough. I hope he is happy.

Back to now... back to the boy driving me over to my new home. Gareth asking to be with me for an entire day had filled me with joy. No one had ever prolonged their time with me and I was enjoying my time with him.

When he came back into the bathroom I wanted to lunge at him and just continue, but I had to contain that urge, he won't disappear, Gareth isn't like everyone else in your life. He helped you get dressed, cleaned the living room and walked you to the car. As he shut the door on Ellie's car and he tucked a blanket on your lap you can feel your heart in your ears.

Now driving he was just as careful. He was humming the song he sang at my birthday, it took on another meaning now, he was everything. I glanced over and he noticed, "You want to talk?"

"I'm not sure." I whispered, "This is very new to me."

And it really was, he wasn't new, but the idea that I could freely touch him, that he was mine to claim, well it was like my ultimate wish had been granted.

"Same here Mattie. Or should I start calling you something else?" Gareth grinned, "I really like when you call me baby... I have never had a girl call me that."

"I wasn't sure... it just kind of came out of my mouth.." I was nervous now, he was so sweet, but I didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Mattie, I told you I liked it. I fucking loved it if I'm honest, and I want to be nothing but honest with you." He paused and you absorbed his words, he made you feel so safe and comfortable. It was almost to the point of wondering how your world worked without him.

"I want to be honest with you to. But I am a bit scared of all of this." I muttered and I felt his hand on mine, he squeezed it gently in my lap.

"Mattie. Im not going anywhere. I'll fight for you and us, so just speak your mind. There isn't a thing in that pretty little head that scares me as much as your silence." He grinned his perfect smile. I nearly leaned over and kissed him right there.