Ben.
"Briley probably wants you to go with her- she's not as comfortable with Luke because-" "she's fine" he interrupted me, making me immediately look to him, wondering what his problem was.
"Well thank you for giving us the time to talk, I think it's going well-" "you guys can have as much time together as you both agree to wanting." He interrupted me again.
I ignored it.
"Do they have any news on where my dad-" "the police told us this morning that they have three different states that he's allegedly been seen in, so they're investigating all of them."
I didn't even respond at this point, because the interrupting me was making me beyond angry, and he had never done this before so I had no clue why is was happening today.
After several moments of it being completely silent I asked the last thing I could think of.
"When do they think her surgery-" "it was supposed to be day after tomorrow-" "what the fuck is up with the interrupting me?" I finally snapped, interrupting his response and standing to make sure he knew how mad I was,
He didn't stand in response, he stayed seated, holding eye contact with me as he drank a sip of water.
"Are you going to answer me?" I asked him.
He stopped drinking his water, setting it down and looking to me,
"I will answer you when you stop trying to intimidate me by standing over me, because it isn't working." He told me.
I instantly felt angrier.
Who the fuck does he think he is?
"Or you could just be a man and face me like a man-" "Ben." He interrupted me again, making me immediately shove the chair closest to me away, seeing it didn't even phase him,
"Stop interrupting me!" I yelled, suddenly angrier than I even anticipated, but it was almost like he wanted this.
"Ben" he spoke calmly.
"What" I spat to him.
"I know you're angry, but can you just calm down and listen to me for ten seconds and if you don't agree with what I am saying, you can continue what you are doing?"
I nodded slowly to him, interested in what he thought he could say to make me agree with the way he was acting.
"I realize that Roy taught you a lot about women, and you opinions of them. I realize that he also taught you how other men should act and feel around you." He spoke calmly.
"But Roy was living in a world that he created in his head and forced the other women and men in his life to live through. Roy would hit you when you didn't act like a man around him. Roy would hit your mother when she spoke her mind, or did anything that he didn't think was correct. Roy would even hit your little sister- his baby girl, when she acted like a kid or didn't do something absurd that he would ask her to do." I agreed with him.
"And I understand that you and Briley were forced to live in that world for a very long time, but that world is over, it is never coming back." He spoke.
"So you have to stop living in that world, none of that world is how we act here, and we all understand that it will take you a while to adapt and get used to it, but it's something that you have to open your mind up to and start working towards getting out of." He continued, making me sit down slowly as he spoke, slowly realizing how badly I've been acting.
"Firstly, you dominated the entire conversation with your sister, you interrupted her constantly, but yet when I did it to you just down- you lost your cool? How do you think that makes her feel?" He asked me calmly.
"I'd imagine that she would lose her cool the way I did, but she didn't- so I didn't even notice what I was doing" I tried to explain to him why I acted that way with her for so long, I didn't know.
I'm not a bad brother.
"She's not going to lose her cool with you, Ben. She has been beat for years of her life and now she is terrified to show anyone emotion- including myself. She struggles to even cry in front of me, Ben. So we all have to be more aware of her feelings, because she isn't going to openly express any of her feelings to us for now." He explained to me slowly, making me look to my feet.
I didn't even realize that maybe she was scared to truly tell me how she feels.
"And secondly, you can not expect other men to fear you, or respect you, or to even understand you. You have respect from each of us, believe me, but at the same time, not everyone in the real world will respect you immediately because you are a man. We live in a world where you have to give respect to earn it, so you can't just walk around and expect men to give you respect."
" You also can't walk around believing that they are scared of you or intimidated when you stand over them, or do anything in that matter. You never know what other men know, or are doing, or what they have planned- you have to be more in your toes about how you speak and interact with people." He told me calmly.
"And lastly, just in general- you have to be more precautious about how you speak to everyone, not just women, not just men, everyone. I understand that you believe everyone is supposed to act a certain way, but that is not the real world. You have to treat everyone as if they were your best friend, with respect and care. It's something you will have to work on, but we are all here to help you work on it." He finished slowly.
"I'm sorry that I lost my cool and did all of that to you." I told him, making him nod.
"Thank you for your apology, I'm sure your sister would appreciate an apology when she gets back." He told me, making me slowly nod in agreement.
"Do you think that maybe you could point out to me when you hear or see me do something that isn't appropriate? Like immediately correct me? Because I just- I don't even realize that I'm doing something wrong until you point it out." I told him calmly.
" I absolutely can, and I don't want you to think that I told you all of this to lecture you, or make you feel bad. I just genuinely want what is best for both you and Briley, and this is it. It's going to be something that we all have to work together to accomplish, but we can absolutely do it"
