An Imperfect Love Story - Book 8

Let's Talk

LENA POV

As Stefanie drives the kids to my house in her car which she finally decided to use even if for tonight, I am grateful for I had asked her if she'd consider it so I could speak to her godmom in private. She was a sweetheart about it obviously, and I find myself nervous as I could be sitting here in Stef's living room as Sharon told me she was running late from work. Of course, I hated to bombard her like this, because Stef was never good if anyone bombard her, but she had been dodging our conversation which I had asked to have for days now.

After what happened the other night in my garage, I knew we had not speak, in fact, we had no choice and tonight she would have to listen for it would just be the two of us as Sharon had gone off to Julius and Phillips house for dinner, and I had already put dinner out for the kids to eat when they got to my house.

I'm both nervous and anxious in a way, but I know in my heart that what ever happens tonight, it's for the best. I know one of our heart's would break in half, if not both, and I was certain that whatever happened or however Stef chose to take what I said would be how life should go.

I jump slightly as I hear the back door open and close as I hear Stef's voice ring out. "Hey, I'm home! Mama should be here soon to pick you guys up!"

"Hey, Stef," I walk into the kitchen as she looks at me, surprised as she sets down her keys.

"Lena? Where are the kids?"

"Stefanie drove them to my house. I'm sorry they didn't get to say goodbye and you are more than welcome to come see them after we talk," I say matter of factly as I see her jaw tighten as she walks past me towards her room.

"Stef, we can't keep putting this conversation off. We need to talk and now," I say as I follow her and she walks to her closet before locking up her gun.

Turning around to look at me now, she unbuttons her uniform shirt as she looks at me very hard. "What do we really need to talk about, Lena? Mm? The fact that we have been fucking and you told me you loved me? Are you here to take it back?"

This stings as she says it, but it's fair in all reality, for I have hurt her many times in the past in regards to fucking or even what I've said. "No, Stef. I'm not here to take it back, but can we sit?" I move closer to her now as she tosses her shirt in her hamper and sighs.

"Not in here. It's not a good idea," she says sharply as she removes her t-shirt and I look at her standing in front of me in her bra and uniform pants, and I get her point. "Let me shower and we'll talk in my living room."

I nod as I head back to her living room to wait, and after half an hour, she walks in, her hair wet and wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top with no bra which was more than I bargained for at this point. I hate that I want her. I hate that I desperately need her, and I hate that I feel like I've ruined everything as she sits in her lazy boy and looks right at me.

"What do we need to discuss, Lena?" She asks softly as I sit forward and look in her eyes.

"I'm not here to take any of that back, Stef. I know I've hurt you, and I know that I shouldn't have spilled that when we fucked. I got carried away in that moment, and all of my emotions flew out of my mouth. I meant it. I can't lie to you about that," I say as I try to keep the emotion out of my voice as I watch her face soften.

"Okay? What does this mean, Lena?" She asks softly as I swallow hard.

"It means that I never stopped loving you, Stef. It means that I will always love you, but if I'm honest with myself, I'm terrified. I'm...I still don't trust that we can have a relationship without nearly killing each other, and ummm, my former friend is still there in the middle," I say refusing to say her name whatsoever as Stef looks at me and I remain calm.