An Imperfect Love Story - Book 8

On the Road

LENA POV

As I pull out into the San Diego traffic, I'm grateful we are getting an earlier start than expected as I see it is only 9:40 PM. However, what I don't appreciate is how Stef has been behaving this evening, and I was going to wait to address it with her, but seeing how she was in my girlfriend's face ONCE again, I can't help but want to box her ears.

She thinks that bull-rushing any and every one in her path will work, but when it comes to me, it just won't. It won't at all, and of course I knew very well how Stef could be probably better than she knew herself in some regards, but it did not excuse it. Not one single bit as I glance over and see her firm jaw, the visible anger written all over her profile, as I turn on her radio while taking a deep breath.

I'm not sure how long we are silent, but I continue to drive without either of us saying a word, the radio playing softly in the background as I try to relax, and I put on my glasses that I use for night driving.

Only a few months ago Stef's anger would have caused me a downright panic attack, but that was no longer the case, and I was working very, very hard at communication even when I knew it would produce conflict. Something I still hated to this day stemming back from my childhood.

"I don't know how long we can have this same argument, Lena, but I am furious with you right now," Stef says breaking the peaceful silence as I glance over at her then back on the road as we are now on the highway.

"Okay, well, you can be furious with me, Stef, but this is a major part of my recovery, and nothing you say can convince me never to pay you back. You won't let me pay you directly; so, I'll help Callie with her college fund. Mike told me a long time ago he had opened one up for her, and so, I decided this is what's happening."

"Okay, and you never once thought to tell me first? To let me know about the fact that..."

"No, Stefanie. Because we would be arguing much like we are right now, and I have made up my mind!" I cut her off as I can feel her shift in her seat. "I am Callie's mother too."

"I never once doubted that you were, but you are not honoring my wishes, and I don't understand it, Lena. I just don't, and the mere fact that you are my best friend should tell me that you'd at least hear me! What is so hard for you to understand that I don't want that money? You have expenses and a mortgage, and we have five children."

I keep my eyes straight ahead as I have so much to say, but instead I weigh my thoughts carefully, for I know that she is sensitive about this subject, and I can't for the life of me figure out as to why. Why did I have to get Mike involved in the past when it came down to insisting she take the money from our sold home for her own? Why did she continually fight me when it came down to money? Didn't she understand that I want...no, I NEED to pay back what I took and lost? What didn't SHE understand?

"I do hear you, Stef. This has nothing to do with friendship or...or past lovers...or anything of that sort. This boils down to what's right, and I don't feel it's right for me to have taken your hard earned money and blown it like I did and not have to pay it back. I just don't. And that money was for Callie's future. I love that girl just as if she was my own, and I don't feel that what I am doing is wrong."

"You already gave me the money for the down payment for my home! What more can you possibly owe me, Lena Adams?????" She raises her voice at me, and I sigh again as I adjust my glasses.

"Stef, that money for your down payment was from selling our home. That was different. I lost more than money in the bank. I pawned off things we couldn't get back. I stole time and energy. I...I needed to rectify everything I have done, and quite frankly, I can ask you why you won't respect my wishes and what I need to do to make things right?" I ask firmly as I hear her snort.