An Imperfect Love Story - Book 8

Backyard Campouts

LENA POV

Life was surely taking what felt like a rather interesting turn, and when Stef showed up at my gallery to bring me lunch it all but confused me more than anything. Why? I just didn't know.

I guess right now the whole thing was confusing me especially the fact that I was attracted to Denni and didn't really know how to feel about that or the flowers she had gotten me.

Honestly, if I was really very honest with myself I felt guilty for even liking her and even finding her so attractive because, well, I guess I felt guilty because of Stef.

Yes, we had split, our marriage was over, and we knew it was for the better even if we were fucking off and on, I just didn't know how to shake the feelings that I had about all of this.

Plus, I had sworn off dating right now and really just wanted to focus on myself and my kids, and I'm almost annoyed that Denni is a pretty and charming.

The flowers were lovely, they were beautiful and the kind of flowers I would have loved Stef to bring me.

Deep inside I wanted those flowers to be from her and when they weren't I wasn't sure why my heart sank considering we weren't even together anymore. But, when she showed up to bring me lunch asking me about them I flat out lied, because I couldn't tell her the truth, it was far to awkward and just, well, I couldn't do it.

Not only had the flowers thrown me off but, Stef showing up to bring me lunch really threw me for a loop because she had never done that.

Not once in our whole marriage had she shown up to bring me lunch and honestly, it had actually been nice and we chatted a bit. She even encouraged me about art and told me how proud of me she was on top of admitting that she wanted to turn our old garage into an art studio for me.

That was something I never really expected her to admit or even say, but she had. She did and I didn't know how to feel about that either and part of me wanted to kinda scream at her and ask her why she never made much effort when we were married. Had we still split if that had been the case?

However, regardless of how mixed my feelings were about her showing up one thing was certain was that it was awkward when her and Denni met because I knew Stef did not like her. Especially based off how unfriendly she had been, because I knew Stef better then herself and I knew when she didn't care for someone. But, I just had to brush that off because we were both entitled to make friends with whom we wanted and start our new lives.

"Hand me the mallet, Cals," I say as she and Stefanie are currently helping me set up the big family tent I just purchased, for after I had gotten my furniture set up in the living room, I realized just how much the kids enjoyed camping out together.

I'm thankful this is my weekend with them as I have planned this camp-out filled with music by a bonfire, s'mores and scary stories. Of course, I told them they could each bring a friend, even Corey despite the fact that he was still grounded. But I seriously wonder why I thought that I could do all of this alone, and when Julius and Phillip offered to help with the camp-out, I jumped on it without hesitation. All of these kids with me as the only adult was me probably biting off more than I could chew if I was really honest with myself.

Truth be told I wanted to bond with all my kids in any way possible right now because I feel as if I missed so much of their lives, especially in the last couple of years, and they're only growing up before my eyes.

I regret everything that happened in the past, and I never meant to hurt them like I did and have. Even Stef, I never meant to hurt her either. From working it out in therapy, I have learned that the more I grow and heal, the better example I will be to them, and that it is never too late to make amends, if they would let me.