Outgrowing the Dorm

It Begins...

"Okay, three more of your favorites are on the way," Amy told Megan, putting down her phone.

"Wait... meatball and bacon pizzas, three larges?!" Megan asked as she took a bite of the second slice of the pizza she already ordered.

"Yep Megan, three larges. And soon that's going to be a tiny snack for you. But we need to start small if we're going to work your way up to 350 pounds. And for dessert you can have this pack of Oreos I have in my drawer." Amy pulled out an unopened package of cookies from her desk.

"The whole thing?" Megan asked nervously.

"The whole thing. We're going to need to go shopping at the convenience store tomorrow to make sure you'll never run out of snacks. I have this entire drawer filled with a bunch of junk food for whenever John comes and visits but as long as you eat like you're supposed to, all of this food will be gone by next week. And, well... John isn't the eater you are anyway."

"Amy that's really nice and all but I'd still feel bad making you waste all of the money you spent on your boyfriend for me," Megan said timidly.

"Don't get all soft on me now. Well, wait. Get soft on me, but make your belly soft not your emotions. Listen, it'll be more than worth it if me and John get to spend the weekends he's here in our own private room. Just keep remembering that."

"Okaaay," Megan said dragging her voice. "Fineee." She took the third slice of pizza and began eating it.

"Now let's figure out how you're going to become as big as the dorm room is. What classes are you taking this semester, which one is the hardest?"

"Oh definitely Biology 101, and it has a lab so I'm in class for four straight hours every Friday. The rest of my classes are pretty easy though, just Linguistics, English, Stati-"

"Drop it," Amy said sternly.

"Drop what?" Megan's eyes stared at Amy confusedly.

"Drop Biology! You can't afford to not be able to eat in a lab for four hours every week. That's going to ruin your diet! If you drop that you'll only be in four classes total, right?"

"Right..?"

"Okay so here's my plan for you. First off, drop Biology. You have no time for that, you need to be eating whenever you're awake." Amy ripped Megan's schedule off of her bulletin board. "I'm going to arrange a nice, big eating schedule for you. Now, once you drop Biology, you're going to have class Monday through Thursday from 9am to 10:15am, and from 12pm to 1:15pm. That's... Linguistics and English on Mondays and Wednesdays, Statistics and Anthropology on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And no class on Friday. What a cute little schedule you have."

"Okay Amy I still don't know where you're goi-"

"So Before your 9am class? Breakfast. We'll both wake up at 7am, get ready, and you'll have a good hour to eat."

"7am?! How early do you think I can get up?"

"Megan. Single. Rooms. Now, on your walk to your classes you walk through the Student Union. After breakfast, you're going to use your NEP Bucks to order a pasta bowl and a milkshake. Bring those both to class and eat them. Then since you're going to be on the other side of campus, once class is out, go to the other dining hall for Brunch. Stay there and eat until your next class. Then walk to your next class at noon, grab another pasta bowl and milkshake, and eat those in class again. Oh, and I forgot to mention, put these in your backpack." Amy handed Megan a 30 pack of chocolate bars in one hand, and a bag of lollipops in the other. "These were for John too... I want you eating these all day. As soon as you finish your milkshake and pasta, start eating chocolate. When you're walking to class, start eating chocolate. When you're walking to eat a meal, eat chocolate, suck a lollipop, always be cramming some sugar down your throat."

Megan's eyes were wide open at how quickly Amy formulated this plan for her. "Amy you were literally just so not sure if you wanted to do this..."

"Well girl, now I'm sure," Amy said confidently. "Now let me finish. After your class gets out at 1:15pm is when we get Lunch. And since you won't have Biology anymore, we can sit there for as long as you want to and make sure you eat at least three courses. For now at least, I want to see you up to about five next month."

"Five..?" Megan whispered to herself.

"Megan we're not getting singles if you're acting like a sorority girl that timidly gains the sophomore 30. For the first couple weeks you can double how much you normally eat, I'll go easy on you. But then triple it. Quadruple it. You can't let your body ever get used to how much your eating, and we can't afford for you to not be eating, so the amount you eat is going up, up, up."

Megan's face filled with an overwhelmed look, as if she was about to shed a tear. "Wait... Megan." Amy put her arm around her friend, still with half a pizza in front of her lap. "Is this too much? Like really I just played back what I just said in my head and it was a lot like I'm re-"

Suddenly Megan burst out laughing so hard a bit of pizza spit out of her mouth onto the ground. "Is this too much? Am I a bad friend?" Megan said mocking Amy. "Girl, I've been dreaming of being able to stuff myself every second since I was five years old. Hand me that bacon pizza. I'm just getting started."