Wings of Change | Yuzuru Hanyu

32.

Yuzuru woke up before the girl in his arms, the memories of all the mornings they spent like this in the past started filling his brain. Some were sweet, others were sexy, but they were all incredible.

Nothing could have prepared him to be able to have her again like this, it was a dream turned into reality. He knew this wouldn't be easy, the distance between them would be a test, but the promise of a good and long future made the compromise worth it in the end.

The truth is, he imagined moving with her someday, she could work in any hospital she wanted as long as there was a rink close for him to skate. He wanted to marry Joan, it was something he always knew, even back then. The one thing that surprised him was that he was now imagining the possibility of having kids with her, the thought of mini versions of them running around the house and even, just maybe, learning how to skate, did things to him.

Eventually, Joan did wake up, looking into his big eyes without a word, nestling comfortably in his neck where she placed a kiss in a particular spot she remembered well, earning a soft moan from the Japanese. 

"What are you trying to do?"

"Just saying hello. You were the one being creepy watching me sleep. Some things never change"

"Next time I wake up before you do, I will just get out of bed and make as much noise as possible, is that a better way to wake up?"

"No..." she said with a pout. "You know I like waking up like this"

"I know you like to complain" he told her with a smile "As much as I love this, I have to go. I would ask if you wanted to come but you don't have a pass"

"It's alright, I have plenty of work to catch up on" she said, looking at her laptop " I will be fairly entertained, don't worry"

He kissed her softly one last time before leaving her room.

After the gala, where Yuzu did a beautiful rendition of his Notte Stelatta program, they said their goodbyes in her hotel room. One curious thing was how contained they had been in comparison to when they were younger, not even attempting to go further than small kisses and cuddles, enjoying each other's presence without any other pressures. Joan noted that Yuzu handled her with so much care, that it was almost as if he was afraid she would break and disappear from his sight.

Tears escaped both their eyes as they gave each other the last hug before Yuzuru went to the airport, a silent promise that they would be okay and despite the distance, things would work out in the end.

After he left, Joan cried herself to sleep, she had missed him before, but after the eventful weekend, being apart was way harder now.

The next few weeks, after Joan had gone back to London and Yuzuru to Japan for his nationals, they spoke every day, both by texts and well-planned video calls. The girl realized that this time together made her know him better than ever, and was very surprised to learn many small details of his personality that she had never noticed before.

Without telling anyone, she started looking into the possibility of following her studies through a phD. The subject of Sports Medicine really interested her. Not only that, a future as a researcher allowed her more flexible hours. Joan started looking into several programs, not only looking into their contents and prestige but also on location. The one important detail she needed to fix was the possibility of having to learn a new language, but thankfully it was one she was really motivated to learn.

When Yuzu told her in one of their calls that he wasn't feeling that great during official practices for the Nationals she started worrying.

"Don't worry, I'm just tired" was all he said "Everything will be fine with some rest"

"Is it the Asthma?" She asked

"I don't know, it doesn't feel like that, just body tired, and a bit out of breath sometimes, nothing I can do"

"Just make sure you rest, please. 3 competitions in the same month is too much"

Joan knew how he was, doing his best was always prioritized over his health, it almost made her want to fly all the way to Japan to bring some sense into him.
In the end, he would always skate, no matter how he was feeling.

On the day of the Nationals, she woke up in the middle of the night to watch the man who occupied her thoughts. He managed to break the national record on the short and Joan thought maybe her worries hadn't been justified.

That was, until the free program.

After leaving her shift tiredly, she decided to watch the replay of the event she missed. From the start, she knew something wasn't right. Yuzu was definitely more tired than usual, the performance he gave was way less enthusiastic than what she's used to seeing. The tiredness had really taken a toll on him. For the first time since she remembered, Yuzuru Hanyu didn't win his Japanese Nationals, placing second. Truth be told, there was definitely some debate that could be done on the scoring, but what was new?

She hit the call button before she could think about it.

"Jo? Everything okay?"  He answered in a very low raspy voice. Only then did she look at the time, it was the middle of the night in Japan.

"I'm so so so sorry, I'm so stupid.  I didn't even look at the time, just got out of my shift and saw the replays and didn't think before wanting to check on you"

"It's alright, I know you worry. I'm okay, just very tired"

"And I woke you up, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am"

That made him laugh.

"Shh, calm down. I'm always happy to hear your voice" he said softly "So, you saw?"

"Yeah, you looked really tired, I was so worried"

"It's too much, sometimes I feel like they did it on purpose." He told her, surprising Joan. She knew he hadn't been particularly happy with the federation, but he had always been too polite to voice it out loud.

"The fed?"

"Hum, you think they're trying to replace me?"

"With who, Shoma? He isn't bad but I don't think he could ever beat Nathan at his best. The new kid surprised me, but he still has too much to learn"

"Maybe they don't care, as long as it's a medal"

"If they are really attempting something like that, I think you have two options. You either retire on your own terms or the one I think you will go for, continue for a while, and make their lives a living hell."

"Make it hell huh?

"Compete in what you want, do whatever you feel like... No GP? Whatever, you've won that enough times. You always have to qualify for big competitions anyway. They thrive on the interest you brought to figure skating, maybe it's time they learn what happens when you make your own choices."

"You're crazy, but I love that"

" I will let you rest on it, don't make sudden decisions. Just make sure that you're skating for the right reasons"

"Hai! Thank you for calling, I think I needed to hear that"

"Have a good night Zu, love you"

"Love you"

Yuzuru disconnected the call and smiled. Joan's influence on him was going to stir some heads and he couldn't wait to see the effects.