Craving (JJ x James)

16.

'Sangwon,' Justin had decided to complain over the phone on the Friday evening of that week. James had really not paid any attention to him, and simply said hi to him when they had happened to bump into each other at the lockers which were next to each other. Other times, he didn't even bother to say hi. 'James doesn't want to be friends with me and he's so cold. He's now friends with this other cool girl Wonyoung and he friends Sunghoon and Jungwon.'

'Well what do you expect?' Sangwon replied languidly. 'James is cool, he wouldn't want to hang out with someone who's in the shadows. He prefers people who are popular and will probably get him a good rep.'

'But...he's not like that...'

'Geez Justin, can you stop?' Sangwon sounded frustrated. 'James is not whatever you've made up in your head, he's just a typical jerk who happens to be my friend. So stop this before you get hurt. I already warned you.'

'But Sangwon...' Justin started, a lump forming in his throat. 'I just don't understand why he's acting like this.'

His cousin sighed. 'That's the kind of person he is. So are these friends of his the ones he's hanging out with tonight?'

'Hanging out with tonight?'

'Yeah, I just checked his Instagram before you called. He posted some photos with some friends and they seem to be having fun.'

'I'll call you back.' Justin immediately hang up after he had removed his cell phone from his ear. He desperately opened his browser and checked for James' Instagram account, which he had recalled by name when Sangwon had showed it to him in an attempt to prove that James was straight.

He looked at the most recent photos which had been posted 10 minutes ago. It was James sitting on a white couch with Wonyoung, Jungwon and Sunghoon. There was cool drinks on the table in front of them in beautiful neon colors. The caption read "Friday night at Jungwon's (". It hurt Justin that James was spending Friday night with them, why didn't he want to spend Friday night with him? What was so fun about spending time with shallow people like them? October_Rooster had always told him that he preferred the simple things in life.

A disappointed Justin paced in front of his bed, trying to think of what he was going to do to keep his heart from aching. Finally, he thought of an idea which was either terrible or genius to him.

He knew where Jungwon lived – he was going to show up at Jungwon's house and would demand attention from James. He had to look good and make James notice him and want to spend time with him again. He knew that James liked him, but for some reason he just didn't want to show it.

The problem was that Justin didn't exactly know how to dress in a way to command attention. He opened his closet and sighed, looking at the clothes which all seemed too plain. Finally, he had decided on a pair of jeans and pastel pink sweater which was short enough to show some skin when he raised his arms.

He felt silly after he had walked in the bathroom and looked himself in the mirror. This outfit was not him, and probably his parents would not let him walk out in it, but he was so desperate to have James look at him. He fixed his hair in the mirror, pulling it back to show off all the features of his face.

He hesitated, but he decided he would do it anyway. It was now 22:00. His parents had gone to sleep, and he was about to sneak out. This was going to be his second time sneaking out and he had done it for James in both scenarios, James was beginning to seem like a bad influence on him.

He snuck downstairs and made sure each step was taken carefully so the stairs wouldn't creak. Once he was at the front door, he opened it slowly and disappeared into the night. It was a safe neighborhood, but the guilt he felt for sneaking out made him shiver with fear.

Justin finally arrived at the familiar house which was just a few blocks away. He had known Jungwon's home since they were kids, thanks to the numerous birthday parties which Jungwon's parents hosted for him since they were children. Justin was lucky enough to attend them when they were kids, although now that they had grown, Jungwon hadn't invited him ever since.

He could hear the four's chatter the moment he had stepped onto the front porch, although the pop music managed to drown out some of it.

He checked himself, took a deep breath, then knocked on the door. He hoped they could hear him. It didn't take long for Jungwon to open the door and then look at Justin with surprise. Of course he was surprised, what was Justin doing there?

'Justin?' Jungwon asked, still holding on to the door handle. 'I don't know if my first question should be what are you doing there or what the heck are you wearing?'

Justin looked down at himself then back at Jungwon. 'Can I see James?'

'Why? Look, we're hanging out and you'll probably disturb us.'

'I just need to see James for a few minutes.'

Jungwon rubbed his temples. 'Why did James have to be friends with you? Make it snappy and go okay?'

'You got it.'

Jungwon left the door open and returned inside the house. Justin nervously walked into the living room, and found James sitting with his new friends with a drink in his hand.

For a moment, James looked at Justin a bit taken aback. Justin could tell James liked what he saw, and the way James looked at him almost made him blush. So fixing himself wasn't a bad idea after all.

'What the hell Justin?' Wonyoung asked in a cross tone. 'What are you doing here? Jungwon, did you invite him?'

'Why would I?' Jungwon rolled his eyes. 'He says he's here to see James for a sec.'

'Why?' James asked coldly, as if he had snapped out of taking in Justin's beauty.

'I...' Justin realized he didn't know he wanted to see James anyway, so he hadn't thought of an answer. 'I thought we could hang out.'

James' three new friends laughed in unison, making Justin feel a bit hurt.

James sighed and face palmed. He didn't want to embarrass Justin in front of his friends, but he felt he was being pushed. He left his drink on the table and got up from the couch.

'Let's talk in the kitchen.' he told him and led the way.

'James there's no need to even give him a second of your time, yeesh.' Sunghoon commented as Justin followed James into the kitchen.

He found James leaning on the counter and walked towards him. Once again, James looked a bit captivated before he decided to speak. 'I thought I made it clear, I don't want to hang out with you anymore. We're too different. If you keep doing this, I swear I'm gonna snap.'

'Can't you at least make some time for me?' he found himself pleading.

'For what!? We can't even have a conversation for long because we're not the same. I'm one of the cool kids and you're...whatever the heck you are.'

Justin sighed. 'I wonder why you're looking at me like that then.'

'Like what?'

He shrugged, but James knew exactly what he meant. After all, he was the one who was doing the staring.

He laughed rudely. 'You're crazy. Now go home, I'm pretty sure your mom and dad already tucked you in bed and you snuck out.'

'James...'

'I won't be nice next time. Go home.'

Justin had no choice but to nod, he couldn't force himself to be somewhere where he wasn't welcomed. But as he walked away, he could feel James' eyes on him. Why did he choose to hide his feelings so much to the point that he had to be mean about it?

Justin finally made his way to the front door and walked out into the cold night, then closed it.

'Justin is crazy.' Justin heard James say inside as he returned to his group of friends.

'No, you are.' Justin replied to James who couldn't hear him. As he walked away from the house, he looked through the large window and noticed that James was happily conversing with his friends. He wondered how someone could be so complicated. 

Craving.