Here I am, of course once more,
Dreaming of you, because you are all that I adore.
But this time you were closing the door in my face,
Telling me there's no time we can talk, and no day we can waste.
I'm at a loss for words, but I'm still searching for something I can say,
To change your mind, so it doesn't have to be this way.
But this is all a dream,
And ever since I woke up, I've been trying to understand what my mind is trying to tell me.
Does this mean what I think it means, or is my mind out of place?
I haven't had about you in so long,
Because I've been using drugs to find an escape.
And escape I did, at least until now.
Now I can't decide if I should take more drugs to escape,
Or endlessly scream at myself in the mirror trying to figure this all out.
I know if I try to talk to you about it, you won't spare me the time of day,
And even if you did, my throat would clench shut before there was a word I could say.
I can't help but be afraid,
Because I know if I ever told you anything,
I'd lose you forever.
