I've been drinking myself dumb,
And as drunk as I am, I still haven't been able to numb the person I am,
And I've been drinking since I've seen the sun.
I guess I can't numb myself anymore,
I've done it too much.
And with how drunk I am,
I'm even more depressed than I was.
I'm holding my beer,
Now I've tossed it and I hear the glass crash down on the floor.
The sound reminds me of myself,
Because I too, am shattered beyond all belief.
Now I am crying,
Because I see no sign of relief.
And I'm hoping tonight I'll die,
But I don't want to die personally.
I don't have the guts to end my life willingly,
So I just continue to hope,
And at times I reread words I once wrote,
That tells myself I can get out of this moat,
But it's so deep, and I can't swim any more than I can float.
Tonight I hope this drink kills me,
So I can finally rid myself of this pain.
My head hurts,
But not quite as much as my vein.
And if I die, all my dreams would die in vain,
But I feel like they've already died long ago,
I just haven't visited their grave.
Maybe if I die I'll be buried with them,
Maybe then, it'll all be O.K.
But these are just drunk thoughts,
I know they won't,
And I know it'll never be O.K.
