I've lost it all.
Every day I wake up I feel more and more like a failure.
As the days go by I sit and I try new things, while trying to explore new ideas,
But then when the clock hits ten, I sit there for hours,
Thinking about how big of a failure I am.
I think about how my motivation is shot, and how it lies there on the floor in my room,
Bleeding the sadness and failures I experience day after day to no avail.
Its death will always be a reminder to me that I am no good and that I will always fail.
I've been told the only way is up,
But I have yet to see it.
The only things I see is a grave that I've been digging deeper and deeper for myself,
Every now and then I can hear the carving of my own tombstone and it gets me wondering; what will it read?
Maybe something like-
"Here lies a failure, gifted but unknown, killed by greed."
Maybe after I'm gone someone will remember me.
Maybe that someone will remember the motivation I had in the beginning,
Only to remember that it was I who sat there and watched my motivation be killed in cold blood.
Then as the memory becomes clearer,
They'll remember it was me who was holding the gun.
