If you knew me,
The real me,
You would understand why I can't help but always think that I don't deserve to live.
I've done a lot of things wrong in my life,
Honestly, most of us probably have,
It's what makes us human right?
But something in me,
Something in my mind always finds a way to remember everything I've don't wrong,
And amplify it to extreme levels where I can't help but beat myself up,
Mentally and physically in order to move on.
But even then, I truly never move on,
I'm just satisfied with the beating I've inflicted on myself for the day.
Then the next day, my mind will find something else to hate,
Or even something else to remind me of what I should've did instead.
And in the end, which is never truly the end,
No matter how much pain I try to inflict,
Or how much kindness and positivity I try to give,
I will always remember every wrong that I did,
And continue to tell myself that I don't deserve to live.
