You know, all my life I just wanted to feel special.
I just wanted to feel like I mattered to someone,
And find a way for that feeling to settle in,
But it never did.
So here I am, grown, twenty years old,
And not a day goes by where I feel special,
Not to myself or others.
And I dream one day I could wear that medal,
But I can't, because I know I'll never be that special.
I'm just an ordinary boy trying to find his way to be a man,
Some see me still as a baby,
Who gives and takes with an open hand.
Other see me as irresponsible, and tell me I need to control myself in order to stand,
But how can I, when everyone else can be something I dream to be?
But me; I know I never will.
I even try to tell myself that being special is just a façade,
And that there is nothing special about being special.
But that's just a lie I tell myself when I don't feel special,
Even if I know it's flawed.
