This is something I hate to say,
But one day everyone will awake and i won't be here anymore.
Whether it be from suicide, or how I continue down this path of a reckless life.
One day people will awake, and they'll see my face,
And they'll realize I am truly gone.
I wonder how everyone will react.
Will they cry?
I used to worry how my friends would find out,
But uh, I don't have too many of those anymore.
So that's not something that really occupies my mind.
But for the people who are still in my life, I'm sure the word will travel.
And as it does, maybe the people who used to consider me friends will find out too.
As for my family,
A part of me knows how they will react.
Typically, how any family would really.
But what's really on my mind is,
What will everyone say about me?
Will they say the words I've been wanting to hear all my life?
That I had and was a beautiful soul?
Maybe they might add more to it,
But if there is one thing I hope they say,
It's that.
Because I have never seen it in myself,
So I generally expect everyone to see the same thing as me.
I wonder if they will tell stories about me.
Or if they will share their favorite memories with me.
Will they talk as if I made an impact in their life?
Like I'm someone they will always remember,
Even if we weren't friends in the end.
Because one thing I do fear is that I will be forgotten soon after I die.
I mean everyone wants to be remembered for something,
It just feels like my 'something' will never be enough to keep my memory alive.
But what if all my fears come true?
I die, and it's something only a few people will know,
And I'm forgotten completely.
What if my funeral is like Gatsby's and no one shows?
Because everything I did for the people in my life was truly never enough.
What if they already have forgotten me?
What if I am already dead to them?
I guess it shouldn't matter anyways,
Because one day regardless, I will die.
But if I could have one wish, it would be,
Everyone that has ever met me, or come into my life,
Please remember me for all the happy times we experienced together.
Please hold our greatest memories deep in your heart and mind.
Please remember that all I ever wanted to do in our friendship was make everyone happy.
Please know that I am sincerely sorry if I couldn't accomplish that goal.
And finally, please remember me for me, and for my poetry,
Because each poem is something I really put my life into.
Thank you to everyone who has entered my life.
Whether it ended badly, or we just separated over time,
Thank you for all the memories we shared.
I hope you can believe me when I say I cherished every single one to the end.
Yours truly,
Thomas.
