What does someone who fears death,
But constantly thinks about killing themselves look like?
I always wondered what way I could drawl this out on paper,
But no art came to mind.
Then one day I passed by the mirror with my pencil and paper,
And I realized that person looks like,
Me.
I tried to drawl myself, but the pencil refused to drawl such a horrific being.
It knew nobody would want to see the sight of someone who's living,
But slowly decaying right before their eyes.
And after so many tries, I finally drew something.
But it didn't represent the person I see,
Because what I drew was someone I wish I was,
Someone who I always wanted to be.
Then I looked up from my drawling and into the mirror,
And disappointment was filled within me.
As I walked away from my mirror, death retook my mind.
Though this time, I wasn't fighting those thoughts anymore.
The pure hatred I have for myself has reached the brim,
And is now beginning to overflow,
So I must put this to an end,
Because I'm afraid if it spills, it might infect my family and the people I use to consider friends,
And I don't want them to suffer the same thing I have to suffer,
Day in and day out, over and over again.
I don't know if this is my final goodbye,
But if it is then I'm sorry you had to witness this.
But trust me when I say this,
Its better for my life to finally come to an end.
