Star Wars the Clone Wars - One shots

Scars run deep

Warning: mentioned rape/non-con

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After Zygerria, Ahsoka struggled to feel comfortable in her own skin.

It felt strange, to wake up every day and remember what had happened on that planet. The traumatic memories replayed constantly whenever she was awake, Molec's cruel smile vivid in her dreams as he hurt her and the other girls he owned.

Thus far, Ahsoka had not cried.

The reality of what happened in the Queen's palace hadn't sunk in.

Life had simply continued, like it was some fragment of her imagination that was horrifically graphic. There was no time to sulk and cry whilst so many others had been hurt and killed.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

She had never felt less peaceful.

Ahsoka was not someone who typically faltered in social settings. Togrutas were inherently social beings, feeling most comfortable in big groups. And yet, as Ahsoka stood at the top of the stairs, queuing to enter the Senate Gala, she wanted the ground to swallow her up.

The dress she wore wasn't helping. She trusted Senator Amidala's fashion advice, but it was the same colour as her horrific slave costume that Anakin had since disposed of, and the exposed neckline made her feel too exposed.

Perhaps it was simply too soon for her to be out in public.

It had been only a few weeks since Zygerria. She and her Master were supposed to be on respite, technically only allowed to return to active duty when they were cleared by a medic, but the Council wanted her to be a representative at this event, purely for publicity's sake.

According to them, seeing a female Togruta Jedi amongst high-ranking military officials and politicians would send a message to the Separatists that the Togrutas had been strong enough to survive the Zygerrians' attempts at enslaving the colonists from Kiros.

Of course, not every Togruta survived, but if it made a difference if Ahsoka showed her face in public, then she would suck it up.

"What are you wearing, Tano?" Commander Fox asked with a scowl, eyeing her up and down at the security point.

She tried to mock offence, but she entirely agreed. She wished she had turned up in her normal clothes. "This was Senator Amidala's choice."

"She's lost her taste." Fox muttered, "And her common sense, apparently, sending a Togruta into an event with two-hundred fully grown men in such an exposing statement piece. This is a black-tie event."

Ahsoka felt her jaw tense. Why would Padmé send her a dress that was entirely out of dress code, let alone personally violating?

"Is my Master inside?"

"Along the back wall," Fox jerked his head. "I'll comm him to say you're headed in."

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Anakin had sensed Ahsoka's apprehension about this event since that morning.

He hated formals as much as she did, but this soon after Zygerria, he couldn't imagine how she felt to be the only Togruta in a room.

He was annoyed with the Council for trying to make a political statement with his Padawan. They were supposed to be on leave. Their presence here was entirely unnecessary.

He would much rather have spent the evening at Padmé's apartment, in her arms, although he knew he wasn't ready to be intimate with his beloved wife after his experience with the Queen.