𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐑𝐄 , nightwing

008 finding rachel.

𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆, I had no clue how to respond to that. "I-I don't know." I stammered, my mind not fully working as I tried to progress everything. The memories fresh in my mind fought for me to push further and further away from Dick, and just seclude myself in a tiny huddled ball for comfort away from the the skull fracturing pain and agony sitting in my head. Think.

The wacko family had chopped off my arm and bashed in my head until my eye popped out of socket and I melted into a mush puddle on the floor. How the fuck was I alive? I did faintly recall being brutally killed in the lab before escaping to find Dick, but I'd recovered somehow then aswell. However, when I was stabbed, I didn't heal then. It was all one big inconsistency and I had no clue how to word it all, let alone process it.

If I had some kind of healing ability, or some immortality, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that it was heavily unreliable; if I suddenly gave caution to the wind and said 'fuck it' and ran out into god-knows, I most definitely couldn't guarantee my safety, and that was really starting to piss me off. At least either let me die all down the time or none of the time, I wouldn't want to go into every situation with an uneven scale set for me, just impatiently waiting to see which way the scales would tip while attempting to dodge death.

Dick edged towards me as if I would merely fade away or shatter with the slightest scare, and came as close to put his hand gently on my shoulder, the heat of his palm soothing my inner turmoil slightly. Speaking softly, he chose his words wisely seeing I had trouble with it all, and gestured towards the staircase downstairs. "It's okay for now. Just head downstairs with me and we can try to run some tests maybe? We need check up on Dawn and find Rachel too."

Pause - Dawn. She'd flew. The last thing I saw was her graciously falling like a wounded bird amongst the bird set free from the rooftop cage. There was a surprising beauty about her fall, and the way she seemed to slowly fall backwards, her blank hair whipping in the wind, meanwhile her flock took to the skies and gathered around her almost like her first flight.

I completely forgot about her, so caught up in my own and Dick's injuries that I hadn't thought of hers. Eh, I didn't care much for Hank or Dawn and hadn't known them for long either, but I didn't wish them any ill will, and certainly didn't want Dawn dead. She was moderately nice to me, as much as she could be in the situation with Dick leaving me and Rachel behind.

Oh, I'd almost forgot. It had slipped my mind just like Dawn had not moments ago. Dick was going to leave me and Rachel. I hadn't forgotten it just yet, and neither had I forgiven him, but that was for later. The anger brewing inside of me didn't settle, however compared to the extremity of our new situation, I felt it deserved to be postponed. For now, we headed downstairs as Dick made a phone call to Hank at the hospital to check up on Dawn's condition, promising to come visit her soon after he caught me up.

Dragging the phone from his ear and ending the call with a sigh, he turned to me, exhausted, and sat across from me at the dining table. Since we'd arrived back in Dawn and Hank's apartment, I'd just been sitting there at the beaten up table, staring into blank space somewhere between the refrigerator and the cabinet that I couldn't quite put my finger on. My mind seemed too flooded with incessant recollection of the lab and my own issues to think beyond it all.

I could remember it all. Well, not all of it, but I could remember the labs. I don't know why or how I ever got in there in the first place, or even how I got out, but I felt it all. The anguish and absolute terror of it all. While my tolerance and durability grew with the length of time they'd torture me for, I'd hide the abstract horror of it all from my face, but it did nothing to stop the feeling. I felt every ounce and second of pain, every beat in the moment that passed as they'd tear me open and resting me again only to melt me inside out, over and over.