Draco Malfoy (One shots & Imagines)

Calling All Dracos

Summary: Where Draco(s) from all different AU's come together to have a meeting. Basically, the Draco in this AU falls asleep in the library and dreams of his various counterparts

Warnings: this is a crack fic beware💀!!!!! very Draco-centric, coarse language

A/n: I just realised I haven't posted this crack-fic on here so. 🫢

******

He likes being surrounded by books.

He is currently standing in between Library bound editions of his favourite books that have the most intricate detailing on their spines and dust jackets.
He allows his fingertips to run along the books meticulously sorted according to the dewey decimal system and settles on a title that reads "sitting amidst idiots: your guide to holding successful meetings."

"Interesting.." he mumbles to himself as he settles down at a desk at a far corner of the public library. The desk is a little isolated from the rest and he likes the green lampshade next to it.

Suppressing a small yawn, Draco flips through the pages and allows his mind to absorb anything that looks remotely interesting.

The book is a generic collection of meeting tips, meeting agendas, meeting minutes and motions.
The more he reads, the heavier his eyelids get...

~~~
Draco: Greetings Everyone I am pleased to welcome you all to the first assembly of Dracos. Shall we call this meeting to order?

All: Yes.

Draco: Excellent. Any apologies or any absence for tonight's meeting?

Soft!Draco: *raises hand* Deatheater!Draco is away at another meeting and will be joining us late.

Draco:....Voldemort is still holding meetings at his place?

Soft!Draco: I'm afraid so.

Toxic!Draco: *kicks his feet up at the table* Yeah, I've been told Quidditch!Draco is on a medical leave after injuring himself in a match. But he has owled us a copy of his report each.

Draco: *pinches the bridge of his nose* Thank you for letting us know. Please note that we don't kick our feet up the table during these meetings. We've discussed this before.

Toxic!Draco: *shrugs and proceeds to twirl his wand in his hand*

Draco: Moving on. Shall we proceed to the next Item on the meeting agenda?

All: yes.

Professor!Draco: *clears his throat and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose* It appears that the next item and the only item of the agenda revolves around a girl.

Hogwarts!Draco: *Scoffs*Not again...

Dad!Draco: *raises his hand*

Draco: Yes?

Dad!Draco: I really don't have time for this. Baby Scorp hasn't been feeling too well and I don't want to stress my wife out.

Simp!Draco: But we could really use your valuable insight here. I mean, you did end up with your girl and have a child together.

Dad!Draco: *rolls his eyes* Fine, I'll stay. But I have to be home by 9:45 P.M

Toxic!Draco: ....ahem....whipped....ahem

Professor!Draco: Detention.

Soft!Draco: You can't really condemn yourself to detention. Besides, we're going off topic. Tell us your problem, Draco.

Draco: Right. So I really like this girl but I don't know what to do about it. I think I should ask her out?!

Mob!Draco: it's the librarian isn't it? My right hand man told me on my way in. *turns back to give Theodore Nott a stiff nod*

CEO!Draco: Wait who invited Nott? And we don't place daggers on the table. *shoots Mob!Draco a glare*

Draco: *sighs* yep. It's her. I've been meaning to ask her out for a while now but I don't know what to say.

Toxic!Draco: you should sleep with Astoria or Pansy or any other girl to make her jealous. That's what I always do.

Soft!Draco: Isn't that why she avoids you like the plague now?

Toxic!Draco: Fuck you—

Deatheater!Draco: *apparates out of nowhere* she avoids me because of my mark.

Draco: wait, Didn't you send her away so you could protect her?

Deatheater!Draco: I had to. It was the only way. *has a break down*

Draco: take five yeah? You deserve a breather.

Husband!Draco:Can I leave too? It's my second wedding anniversary today.

Simp!Draco: *looks at Husband!Draco in envy* Rub it in why don't you?

Fuckboy!Draco: Please, Marriage is a sham. Embrace the single life.

Husband!Draco: *raises his hand*

Draco: yes?

Husband!Draco: Motion to remove Fuckboy!Draco from the meeting

Dad!Draco: I second the motion

Draco: all those in favour?

(All except fuckboy!Draco raise their hands)

Draco: *shrugs at fuckboy!draco who is dragging his chair away with him* Sorry but a motion is a motion

Soft!Draco: *whispers to Healer!Draco* I heard fuckboy!Draco cries himself to sleep alone every night

Draco: *loudly clears his throat*

All: *look at him*

Draco: So, any ideas on how I should approach her?
All: we are but figments of your imagination

Draco:....

All: You don't need our advice. You already know what to do. Just go ahead and do it.

Draco: *shuffles his meeting notes and sees the note sent in by quidditch!draco*

"Trust your instincts , Draco."
~~
He wakes up to someone tapping lightly on his shoulders. He is convinced that he has ink from the pages transferred onto his face and he uses the corner of his jumper sleeve to wipe it off.

"It's almost closing time." She smiles apologetically at him. "Sorry I had to wake you."

"It's fine."

"Excellent book choice." She chuckles, when she sees the book's front cover. "Was it helpful?"

"To some extent." He shrugs and bites back a smile. He isn't going to tell her about the dream.

"Really?"

"Yes." He nods and checks the book out to take it home with him. "It did help me with the last meeting I attended."

"Interesting.." she replies, handing him his library card back. "So the meeting was successful, I assume?"

There is only one way to find out.

"I'd hope so." He walks with her to the exit and waits for her to lock up.

"Y/n?"

"Hm?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"