Fat Girl In A Little Coat 2

Part 16

Waking up to pain to my chest, like someone stabbing me. Billy in the shower, rubbing my shoulder as I got out of bed. I headed down stairs at it was 11:30 pm. "No matter what, mommy is always going to be here for you."

Drinking some water as I grabbed something small to eat. "After tomorrow, how about you and me and maybe dad, well if he wants to be a dad. We can go see my mom. I'm sure she picked you out for me." Heading back up stairs. Sitting back on the bed as I took a bite of my toast.

Billy comes out from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Feeling okay?"

With a crunch as I nod. "Yeah. Baby got hungry."

He nods as he went to the window to smoke. Lifting up the window billy some what turns as he lits his cigarette. "Odd thing to ask."

"Yes?" What am I getting myself into?

"I read on couple of books, people on different sides. One says it's not a baby until its nine months before it's born. And others are saying it is."

"Okay? So are you asking me what I'm viewing it as or am I asking you?" I'm so lost on what he wants.

"I'm asking for yours. I'm not carrying the baby for nine months." Blowing out smoke through the window. "No offense. I know I help made it. But what are you going to call this-" Before he continues I stopped him. Billy hates when I do that.

"Baby. Everyone has the right to their own opinion or having studies on it. But it's a woman's right on what we call it or what we want to do. Adoption, abortion." I looked at him he was a little pissed. "Sorry. I know I interrupted you. I'm going to say baby. You may call the baby as you please. As long it's nothing mean or nasty."

Pointing his cigarette at me as he got even more upset. "You think I'm going to be mean to a child that hasn't been born yet? Especially when the baby is mine? Did I fuck you to hard that you lost your sense."

I hope that Pipi doesn't hear this. Well the arguing part. "No, that's not what I'm saying Billy."

Moving a bit closer to me. "You think that I'm going to be like my FATHER. That's it isn't? Is that what you are implying? If so fuck you."

"BILLY." I mutter loudly. "This isn't our home, lower your voice. That isn't what I was implying. I would never think that you are going to be like Neil. Never. So you can get that out of your brain."

"So what were you saying? Hmmm? Cause I would fucking love to hear this." Almost got to my face. But the bud spat out and burn him a little. "Fuck!" He whispered.

Karma. "Just forget that I said anything Billy, I don't want to fight. When tomorrow is going to be stressful enough."

"YOU meant something by it, so tell me. Do you think that I'm not going to be a good enough dad? Is that it?"

"No. Stop it Billy." Leaning back into bed pulling up my legs.

"Then fucking tell me and I'll stop." Placing the bud into the ash tray.

"I swear nothing. It was nothing." Chills ran up and down my arm.

"You are so unbelievable sometimes." Grabbing his pj pants. "I'm sleeping in the living room. Until you can tell me what you really meant then I'll be there." Grabbing blankets as well and a pillow. "You know I always worried about you being pregnant." Looking down at the blanket. "Cause I have nightmares about us being happy and here's a kid that I have to take care of  without you, because we lose you after giving birth. I don't want you to die. I'd be so God damn lost without you." In the door way now. "But sometimes you drive me up the wall. I hope you know that." Shutting the door behind him.

Here we fucking go. I didn't mean anything by it. I was just talking! Like what the fuck crawled up in his ass and died. I went to bed bawling my eyes out. Have fun. The couch is  so uncomfortable to sleep on. I would go down and say that I'm sorry, but knowing him he'll shout and Pipi is home and so that's a no.

Facing the ceiling I didn't sleep or at least it didn't fell like it. Billy coming up the stairs, I turned over pulling the covers over my head. Door opens, he says nothing. Odd when his in a grumpy mood, he mumbles to himself and something I said or whatever. This time it was nothing. I'll just close my eyes until he leaves. Which he's not making no movement what so ever.

One of his hands placed in my thigh. You have to do more than that to wake me up, even though I am awake. Nope, he climbs in bed with me as I sorta sneak a peak on what time it was. Five am. Not the time he'd be up. So why are you up here? Had enough of that couch? Do you surrender? If so. Say sorry and we will move past it.

Covers pulling down as he fully got under one arm under my head and the other on my stomach. 'Mine.' wait... That's... That's not Billy's voice. I turn my head over it was my dad.

Waking myself up as I feel to the floor. My butt hits the ground first as my back also hits the floor. Thankfully I didn't fall into my stomach.

"Ugh." I got mad at myself as I climb back on my bed. I know Billy is a heavy sleeper so this didn't wake him up. In my bed, Billy opens the door.

Looking at me with worry. "You okay?"

"Yeah." My head hits the pillow as I started to cry. "A fucking nightmare happened, that I haven't had for years. Just happened." I sniffled. Gathering myself up. "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." Deep breathing as Billy shuts the door behind him.

"You didn't. I didn't go to sleep once I got down there anyways." Sitting on the bed. "Did you know that the stars shine out here more then it does back home?"

"No I didn't." I know he's try to make it up so he can get more of a restful sleep. "Please stay."

"By the time I got down there and laid down. It was bad. And I know better." Pulling back the covers. Seeing he's putting on his big boys pants on. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." My hand went to his cheek. "I still love you anyways." Moving over a little bit more. My hand pulled away as I got back into my comfy spot.

Nodding as he turns facing the door like he normally does. He stayed silent for a good few minutes. "Tory?"

"Yeah." Facing his back. His curls were tight or waves. I could never really make up my mind about it.

"I meant what I said about me being sacred."

I sat up, leaning over him a bit. "It's okay to be scared Billy. Hell I am too, if that makes you feel better."

Shaking his head no. "I am scared that I'm going to lose you one day to something. And that day I wouldn't be good enough or that you couldn't love or don't love me anymore."

I sighed. "I guess we both got that same issue. I fear that you will leave after I have this baby. Or that you will leave if I have a miscarriage."

"Is that why we fight so hard?" Lifting his head up a little to sorta look at me.

"It could be. Everyday is a new day, sure we can't change the past but we can change the outlook." I'm so pulling stuff out of my ass that sound believable.

"Yeah." Moving back into me, I held him. I know he says that he's not good with talking about his feelings but dang boy.