Fat Girl In A Little Coat 2

Part 37

Finally at home. The drive felt like forever even with Billy driving fast. And I'm exhausted as well. Placing all the bags into our bed room, me crawling into bed with my long t shirt on.

Billy looks at the mail. Seeing one from the hospital that his mother was at, she had a heart attack. But she's fine. Still not fully there though. Slowly walking into the bedroom as I'm facing away from the entrance, looking at the window as I drifted to sleep. Crawling into bed as well, Billy lies on his back starring at the ceiling.

"I'm a failure." Softly sighing trying not to wake me up.

Still half awake I slurred my words. "Heh?"

"Nothing go back to sleep." Patting my back.

I couldn't take it. Sitting back up as I'm fighting sleep. "No, what did you say."

"I'm a failure."

School? Work? Us? "Why do you think that?"

"I don't want to turn out to be like him."

"Billy, your not." I patted his right leg. "He left because you left, got mad. Threw shit around. Hit Susan with almost hitting Max. Susan threatened him to leave." I don't know if I'm telling this right. I'm fighting sleep and trying to comfort you.

"I make you upset. Just like my mom was with him." Sadly sighing.

"Because he was hitting her, Billy. You never had your hand on me."

"I did in highschool."

"That was highschool Billy. We are talking about the now. Sometimes people just fight more with the people that they love so they can do their best to with them. I told you my hormones was all over. And you wonder why I wanted to get rid of it." Rubbing my right eye.

"You promised me that you wouldn't."

"I didn't promise you anything. Just tell me what's really going on. Is this about your mom, or did Neil find us.. what?"

Turning away from me he could up into a ball. "He didn't find us."

So it is about your mom. I don't care ask if she moved on to the afterlife. "Listen Billy. We are exhausted. But I can absolutely tell you this. Your mother would be or is proud of you not turning into him. You had to be mean, it was forced upon. Look at you now." I moved over to him a little bit. I kissed his arm that had his tattoo. "And I haven't kicked you out of left you. I love you I really do. Even if it doesn't seem like I do or act like it. At the moment. I do love you."  I couldn't tell if it helped him or not.

I rolled over snuggled up in my covers and passed out. He needs his space or else he would had asked for me to hold him. He isn't a failure. He's just an asshole. Well I guess that is a failure, when you cheat, if you cheated. Or try to put my in the loony bin.

Around two am, I woke up. I had to throw up. Joy! Going into the bathroom, picking up what I ate at the airport. My body is just so tired. Billy wasn't in bed, I went into the living room to look for him. Wasn't there, I looked in the other bathroom, wasn't there also. Where could he had gone too now? I sighed as I went back to bed I'm so over it that I just want to sleep all of it away.

Eight am, I was up and moving around I felt better. Making some coffee, eggs and some toast for my self since Billy wasn't home. I'm sure he went out to work or whatever, the phone rings. "Hello?" Holding my mug.

'Hey.' It was Billy. Not drink or high.

"Where have you been?"

'Walking to think.'

"At two am? Alright. I'm glad that you are okay. Do you want me to come and get you or are you at work?"

'Work. Sorry if I worried you.'

I don't know what to say because I don't want to fight with him. "Your safe, thats what matter. I'm sure your busy and I don't want to take to much of your time."

'I love you T.'

"Love you too Billy." We hang up the phone. You better not be cheating on me. That's all I got to say.

When dinner came along Billy bought some chinese home with him. Scanning through the channels. "I'm home." He was overly tried himself as he enter our apartment.

"Ya." I got up from the chair as I walked into the small kitchen. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted too. I was for sure that you or I would be in the mood for making dinner." Taking the containers out of the bag.

I got us some water. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Billy got out the plates as well. Putting his food on the plate and then mine.

Sitting down at our table, he was so quiet. "Billy?"

"Hmm." Spoke softly.

"Last night you said that you were failure. Why did you say that?" There was something more going on with him.

"Don't worry about it." Saying softly.

"Billy, in order to fix our relationship we need to talk. Please talk to me."

"Why, I know in the end youll leave me."

"Why would I leave you? You wanted this new start."

"You don't seem like you want to."

"Billy, I'm -"

Cutting me off. "All over the place because of these damn hormones. I know." Taking a bite out of his chicken.

I mean he's not wrong. But.. "that's not what I was going to say Billy."

"That's the first."

I lean back into the chair. "What I was going to say was I'm willing. If you are going to keep whatever it is going on then we need to end it now."

"And you'll get rid of the baby. And like there was never an us."

"It's to late for that Billy. I made some call to see how far long you have to be. And I'm over that limit. I'll move back to Hawkins what I was going to say."

That kinda brighten Billy's mood. "I'm sorry."

"Why, you too want this kid Billy. Are you going to tell me what going on? Or do you want to call it all off?"

"The reason why I said that I was a failure, is because I can't do anything right. I can't keep you happy, my mother had a heart attack while we were gone." Billy started to come out clean. "The reason why I haven't been going to school was because my mom. I found her. One of her family members, that I reached out too, told me where she was and what had happened to her." His mood changed again. "Neil was right I cant make anyone happy. I'm a wasted space."

I got up and went to him I kneeled down taking his hands. "Your not a wasted space Billy. You are way much more that Neil ever was. I'm sorry that your mom had a heart attack. When did she have it?"

"While we were gone." Turning to face me you can tell that he was holding in a lot of anger, sadness.

"If I knew that your mom was back in your life, you could have left her Pipi number. He wouldn't care." Then my second thing. "Where did she end up? We can go visit her after dinner."