Here's a rewritten version with Y/n's dialogues made more savage and badass, along with more details and transcript-like formatting:
Y/n had just risen from his bed, his piercing eyes scanning the room. His loyal pet hawk, Blitz, swooped in and landed on his outstretched arm with a mighty flap of its wings.
Y/n: Morning, Blitz. Time to see what trouble Blondie has gotten herself into this time. I can already smell the excitement brewing.
(Next scene)
Rapunzel: Come on, Cass. Those dreams are definitely trying to tell me something! Ever since that night-
Cassandra: Shhh! Raps, how many times do I have to remind you? We can't breathe a word about that night to anyone.
Rapunzel: Um... I think the secret's pretty much out there, Cass.
Cassandra: Yeah, everyone knows the hair is back, but if word got out that I was the one who snuck you out when it happened, I'd be shipped off to a convent faster than you can say "holy sisters."
Rapunzel: But Y/n is my boyfriend! We don't keep secrets from each other!
Cassandra: I know it's a lot to ask, but I can't risk it. Please, don't tell Y/n.
Y/n (entering): Tell me what, exactly? What juicy little secret are you two damsels keeping from yours truly this time?
Rapunzel: It's not really a secret, Y/n. It's more of a... sensitive situation.
Y/n (scoffing): Sensitive? And you expect the Ice Queen over here to help? Blondie, I've met glaciers that radiate more warmth than this frigid lady-in-waiting. She moves at the pace of a frozen snail.
(Blitz lets out a squawk, as if agreeing)
Y/n: If there's something going on, you know you can tell me. I'm not some blabbermouth like Miss Uptight Handmaiden here seems to think.
Rapunzel: I know, it's just-
Cassandra (cutting in): That's exactly what you are! You can't keep your mouth shut to save your life.
Y/n (raising an eyebrow): Oh, really? Name one time I've spilled someone's precious little secret, Cass.
(Flashback)
Rapunzel hands a gift to her mother.
Y/n (blurting out): It's a scarf!
(Next scene)
Y/n (cheerfully): Thanks, this was fun! Who would've thought, right?
(Next scene)
Y/n jumps out, startling Cassandra who drops the plates she's carrying.
Y/n (grinning): Surprise! Oh, wait, my bad. Your surprise party is next week. Didn't mean to ruffle those pristine handmaiden feathers of yours, Cass.
(Blitz lets out a squawk that sounds like laughter)
Flashback ends.
Y/n: Hello? Didn't I just list examples? Rapunzel, you're really not gonna fill your incredibly trustworthy boyfriend in? After all we've been through together?
Rapunzel: I'm sorry, Y/n. I want to, but...
Y/n: But what, Blondie? Don't tell me you're buying into Cass' paranoid delusions too. For your information, I have plenty of secrets I keep from you. Lots and lots of juicy secrets.
Cassandra (scoffing): Oh yeah? Name one then, blabbermouth.
Y/n (grinning mischievously): Gladly. For starters, I've been stealing your delicate little underthings, Cass.
