Penance (Book One): Daryl Dixon x Sage Wilson

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     It's been a week.

     A week since I was brought in by a group of strangers, and met a whole bunch of other strangers. I would consider them my friends now, but my guards were still up. No relationship in this new world was permanent- they were full of hurt and despair. That's what this world offered, yet I happily submerge myself in it because I have succumbed to the feeling of helplessness.

     This apocalypse has given me a second chance. A chance to live life the way I want it with no boundaries, no ropes. No more bruises, no more burns, no more pain from people whom I believed had love for me. This world exposed who I really am at my core- ruthless and heartless. Call it what you want, but this world was all about survival- there was no way I'd bend over for someone anymore. I'm here to make my contributions and keep shelter until I find Ava. And once I do so, we both are booking it out of Atlanta and somewhere else.

     My thumbs rub my thigh as I can visually see the scars through my pants as if I had X-Ray vision. I knew where each scar had implanted itself, whether it be a cut or a burn. I know every place I've had a broken bone and which ones didn't heal fully because I wasn't allowed to get treatment. I couldn't be weak anymore- I knew I had to shove it all down and keep it to myself. And it was going to stay that way; the shell is not going to peel ever again. It's the only way I'll be respected.

     "Hey, Sage!" Rick's wife, Lori, walks down to the log I'm perched on holding a piece of clothing.

     I give her a firm smile, knowing she was going through the ringer between Shane and Rick. A love triangle I'd never want to be involved in, especially since Shane was such an asshole.

     "Would you like to come down to the river and wash clothes with us girls?" She tilts her head and smiles as I tap my foot trying to give a definitive answer. "C'mon, it won't bite! Besides, I don't think marinating here will do any of us any good."

     I slowly nod, biting my lip. "Yeah.. yeah, I guess that's fine."

    "Great. Are those clothes Andrea gave you holding up okay?" I look at the black long sleeve and green cargo pants and nod, standing up and following Lori through the tree path to the river.

     I mainly felt the need to keep to myself here. There were some nights I felt like I could associate with the group, but I had my nights where I couldn't help but worry about Ava. Each time I saw Carl or Sophia, my heart sank. I knew they were safe and sound, but I didn't know if the girl I practically raised was.

     I knew everyone's name and I definitely had my select few who I tended to avoid. Each night after the fire dinner, I retreated to the top of the RV or a tent and slept on top of my designated sleeping bag.

     I continue to follow Lori down, and we soon approach a sandy and rocky bank with clear blue waters- something we don't see often anymore. The red and the blue contrast, and I know eventually those waters will inhabit the dead.

     At the bank, I notice Jackie, Andrea, and Carol wringing out their laundry and laughing. Lori continues ahead of me and I pause my walking as I look over to the right and see Ed Peletier, Carol's husband.

     The epitome of evil, abusive, and narcissistic; there have been times where he attempts to get onto Carol but in a public setting he was highly unlikely to try anything. The last week I took my time scoping everyone out here and I immediately could tell who my threats were; it was instilled in me since I was a child to notice the patterns.

     I watch Ed walk over to the girls, specifically Andrea and Carol. I squint as I try to examine the situation, but immediately react when I see Andrea stand up and Lori start go pale.

     "Fuck," I whisper. I start towards the group again, and as I walk I see Ed begin to raise his hand as Carol is on her knees. I pick up my pace and as soon as I know it, I am full speed running towards Ed as soon as his hand meets Carol's face. Her head violently snaps to the side and Lori holds her, Andrea yelling.

     I see vague but vivid flashbacks of what Mickey and my father put me through, more so than what I usually get.

     "Hey!" I yell as I get closer to Ed, feeling the rage boil into my chest. Within moments, I feel my fist meet Ed's face, slamming him into the hard ground. I grab his shirt, bringing his face up to mine. "You fucked with the wrong woman, you bastard." I slam him back into the ground, and take my fist repeatedly slamming it into his face.

     "Sage, stop!" I hear Andrea call for me a pair of hands try to subtract me from my target. I shove them off, only able to see red. Ed sputters out blood as I actively watch his face swell.

     "You wanna fucking hit a woman?!" I hit him. "Huh?!" I hit him again. "Hit me you pussy, I fucking dare you! It'll be the last thing you do!" I hit him again, his head lazily flopped to the side. I hear Carol cry as I try to blur out the muffled voices calling my name. Out of the corner of my eye, I see several people standing around me.

     Finally, I was pulled off by a strong pair of arms. I stumble and stand next to Ed, my chest tight and out of breath as I wipe my mouth with the top of my arm. I look down at my hands and see the blood dripping into the white sand, my heart sinking. I wasn't sad, but I wasn't proud of myself either. What would Ava think about this? Was I some monster? I look back to the women who are holding Carol but looking at me in disbelief.

     I look to see who pulled me off when I see Shane who was surrounded by Glenn, Daryl, Rick, and Jim. I catch sight of Daryl, who had his crossbow in hand and a deer over his shoulder. His mouth was straight and his eyes were in disbelief. Jim stood wide eyed. Glenn looked pale and confused, as if he was about to pass out.

     "What the hell happened?" Shane look to me as he kneels down and checks Ed's pulse.

     "Holy shit!" T-Dog, who looked like a big teddy bear, comes out shocked.

     I stare out into the trees, closing my eyes. "I beat a mother fucker who has no respect for his wife. I did you a fucking favor." I look down at Ed and spit on him as Carol crawls up to him. I look at the group who stares at me in disbelief. Quiet girl goes rogue.

     "Why did you take me off, Shane." I gesture to Shane.

     "We aren't here to kill the living. Even if they are like Ed. I get you were helping Sage, but we will let this fucker bury his own grave." Carol crawls over to him, sobbing on his bloodied clothing.

     Shane puts his hand on my arm and I yank it away, shaking my head. "Don't fucking touch me, please." I storm off, feeling Daryl's burning judgement from the back of my head.

     I wasn't the Sage they met back there a week ago, but they just met a whole new side to me they do not want to resurface.