Penance (Book One): Daryl Dixon x Sage Wilson

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"Sage?" The door knocks, and my hands release themselves from my throat. The flashbacks have been constant, but more so when my life feels like it's spiraling.

"Go." I brace myself against the door and hold onto the door knob as I hoist myself up to ground level.

"You okay?" I look through the crack in the door to see a familiar broad figure.

"Shane? You need to go, please." I didn't want company, and I didn't want to be checked in on- by anyone.

"Just give me a minute, please." He almost pleads.

I bite the skin around my nails trying to decide if I'm being idiotic to reject help. A part of me wanted to say fuck off but the other part knew that this can't last forever. Closing myself off from others felt like a strength, but it wasn't if my mind kept eating itself from the inside out.

"Fine. One minute." I unlock the knob and crack open the door, Shane coming in. His hands were dug in his pockets, and his stance was unsure.

"You, uh- you okay?" He raises an eyebrow at me as I sit on the bed, flopping my head into my hands.

"I'm fine. Just don't want to bring shadows from the past." I start to bounce my leg as I look at the carpeted floor. I feel the bed shift beside me, and I quickly find myself angling away from him.

(TRIGGER WARNING: SA)

"Well I'm here for you if you need to talk," he says slowly. "You're here for me."

Shane has never tried to make any sort of intimate conversation with me; I knew him a little more than that. "What do you want, Shane." I look at him, and his face was twisted into confusion.

A hand reaches around my waist, and pulls me into him. He leans into me, his breath traveling down my back. "To comfort you, of course."

I immediately pull back, my legs shaking with fear and rage. "What the hell is your problem, Walsh?" I stand up from the edge of the bed, him following suit.

"I don't have a problem, but you obviously do. Do you not take a hint that I want you? It was never Lori, it's been you!" He jabs a finger in my chest and is now face to face with me. His breath reeked of wine, which left me to assume he had drank a couple of bottles and got drunk.

"You're drunk, Shane. Get the fuck away from me." I grind my teeth in response, trying not to scream.

Suddenly, his hand snakes around my waist, pulls me in, and his lips are on my neck.

"Stop!" I punch on him with my fist, but he pulls me in tighter. My neck felt as if it was injected with venom. I finally am able to bring my head back and launch it forward, coming into contact with his face. He steps back, but immediately pushes me onto the bed. I start to kick as his knees pin down my legs.

"Get off of me!" I scream almost as loud as I can, which doesn't help my case being that everyone was downstairs in this huge building. It was basically sound proofed. His hand covers my mouth as I scream underneath the vacuum pressure.

I feel my eyes start to burn with tears, this feeling being all too familiar.

"Hey!" I look over and see Daryl in the door way, with his crossbow up at Shane's head.

"Let her go or it's going in your fucking head!" He steps closer to him as Shane slowly raises his hands in surrender and gets off of me.

"Woah, man- calm down. It was consensual!" Shane looks to me, but all I could do was sit in silence. I wanted to scream it wasn't, but my mind was completely shut down. My voice couldn't find the air and I couldn't breathe. My chest felt as if it was collapsing on me.

"The hell it was!" Daryl launches himself forward, swinging the crossbow into Shane's face. Shane puts his hand on his gun and I immediately feel my gut sink. Daryl notices and grabs Shane by the shirt, bringing him to his face. "Get the fuck out before I kill you! And if I ever see you lay a fucking hand or an eye on her I'm going to gut you myself and feed you to the fucking dead!" Daryl steps closer and puts the crossbow into Shane's chest, slowly guiding him out.

I slowly sit up, looking down at the ground.

Daryl shuts the door, tosses his crossbow on the ground, and runs over to the bed.

"You okay?" He looks at me but I cannot look at him.

"No." I look up at him, and his face drops. There was a certain kind of pain he was feeling and I could feel it radiate off of his anger. "But I have to be." I take a breath and manage to give Daryl a small smile. "Thank you, Daryl. But you can leave; I'm fine. I need to shower." I stand up, trying not to fall over from the anxiety making my legs jello.

Daryl takes a step towards me, trying to help guide me. I put my hand up, and he immediately steps back.

"I could sleep on the floor." He says flat.

I look back at him. A part of me trusted Daryl; the other part of me wanted to shove him away from me for eternity. But I couldn't have both.

"I'll be okay, Dixon- just- not a word to anyone. Goodnight." I walk into the bathroom and almost slam the door behind me, putting my ear to the door to make sure he leaves. I hear the door click behind him and my mind starts to race about what happened. A part of me was not phased and used to this and the other part of me wanted to throw myself into a pit of walkers. But yet again, I couldn't have both.